Public displays of affection (PDAs) are a delicate dance, as our blogger Suzie Kidger discusses. Striking the balance between an affectionate embrace and making everyone else around you heave in disgust is tricky. So when and what is too much? And are we gays still afraid to show or love in public for fear of ridicule or abuse? Read on and let us know what YOU think…
Friday night PDA changes everything
It’s Friday night, you’re in a bar and an attractive looking couple are having a smooch as you wait to be served. What do we do? Raise our eyebrows and avoid looking in their direction? Cough loudly and make it obvious people are actually there? After a few drinks we don’t really give a damn what people do; this is when almost everyone makes a fool of themselves. Falling over, knocking over drinks, kissing that munter in the beer garden are just a few of a Friday night’s antics. Nobody bats an eyelid at the fact that people are wrapped around each other on a night out.
The whole ‘public displays of affection’ rut is a bit of a silly one. OK, we don’t want you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/snog-for-the-evening making out in our faces, but are we a little afraid at times of showing affection? The gay PDA is a fascinating one; we are happy in our own skin, we’ll tell our other half how much we love them in private, kiss them sweetly on the lips and whatnot, but out in the open, we often hide it.
The staring factor
Some time ago I was seeing a girl who had not long ‘come out’ to her friends, and didn’t give a damn who saw her holding hands with a girl. We sat in a Wetherspoons [an English pub chain] having a drink, while across the bar a man stared at us, in the most obvious manner possible. As far as I remember we weren’t on each other’s laps taking photos for Instagram, so people need to chill the hell out. Two girls, talking, holding hands across the table, whoah, crime of the century!
Much like myself, if people can’t deal with same-sex couples holding hands, that’s their problem. We’re not doing anything wrong. The many heterosexual partners out there have no problem walking proudly down the road holding hands, or with their arms round one another, so why should we feel any different?
Be proud, have faith, and smile.
I’m no Dear Deidre, but my advice is, be yourself. We don’t need to flaunt our love for our other half to know that’s how we feel about them, but don’t shy away either. If you want to hold hands, go for it. Screw the PDA. •
Do you agree with Suzie? Let us know what you think about PDAs!