Public displays of affection (PDAs) are a delicate dance, as our blogger Suzie Kidger discusses. Striking the balance between an affectionate embrace and making everyone else around you heave in disgust is tricky. So when and what is too much? And are we gays still afraid to show or love in public for fear of ridicule or abuse? Read on and let us know what YOU think…
Friday night PDA changes everything
It’s Friday night, you’re in a bar and an attractive looking couple are having a smooch as you wait to be served. What do we do? Raise our eyebrows and avoid looking in their direction? Cough loudly and make it obvious people are actually there? After a few drinks we don’t really give a damn what people do; this is when almost everyone makes a fool of themselves. Falling over, knocking over drinks, kissing that munter in the beer garden are just a few of a Friday night’s antics. Nobody bats an eyelid at the fact that people are wrapped around each other on a night out.
"Unnnnghgh, give ush a schnnooog, hic!"
Seriously though…
The whole ‘public displays of affection’ rut is a bit of a silly one. OK, we don’t want you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/snog-for-the-evening making out in our faces, but are we a little afraid at times of showing affection? The gay PDA is a fascinating one; we are happy in our own skin, we’ll tell our other half how much we love them in private, kiss them sweetly on the lips and whatnot, but out in the open, we often hide it.
Is feeding your partner in public EVER acceptable?! (Especially with matching shirts/haircuts!)
The staring factor
Some time ago I was seeing a girl who had not long ‘come out’ to her friends, and didn’t give a damn who saw her holding hands with a girl. We sat in a Wetherspoons [an English pub chain] having a drink, while across the bar a man stared at us, in the most obvious manner possible. As far as I remember we weren’t on each other’s laps taking photos for Instagram, so people need to chill the hell out. Two girls, talking, holding hands across the table, whoah, crime of the century!
Would you hold your partner's hand in public?
Much like myself, if people can’t deal with same-sex couples holding hands, that’s their problem. We’re not doing anything wrong. The many heterosexual partners out there have no problem walking proudly down the road holding hands, or with their arms round one another, so why should we feel any different?
Be proud, have faith, and smile.
I’m no Dear Deidre, but my advice is, be yourself. We don’t need to flaunt our love for our other half to know that’s how we feel about them, but don’t shy away either. If you want to hold hands, go for it. Screw the PDA. •
Do you agree with Suzie? Let us know what you think about PDAs!
6 Responses
January 7th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Hey Suzie, I agree! But we must take into account that some people just are not that “personality” type to do that, no matter what sexual orientation you are.
I also wonder if we are “sensitive” assuming someone is staring because we’re gay? I stare at hetrosexual couples, cos I’m fascinated by human nature…I like to look and make up stories about their relationship! hehehe
I will say though, whenever I see a gay couple, holding hands, or kissing, I do get an extra warm fuzzy feeling inside that I don’t get when I see straight couples doing the same.
I’m Team PDA…no matter who it is…just please keep your clothes on and your hands in respectable areas! hahaha
January 7th, 2013 at 4:34 pm
Well, I love this article and it raises some interesting points, I don’t do the whole PDA thing but this is because I hate seeing it from homosexual or heterosexual couples, I am bored of having to divert my line of direction to avoid irritatingly happy couples in full on lip lock. That being said we are social creatures by nature and to display affection is natural so I am not opposed to it entirely but please people keep the full on stuff for beind closed doors! I should point out that gay couples I find are actually very reserved in comparison, it’s rare that I see PDAs in homosexual couples which poses an interesting question, why is this?
January 7th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Hi Tara, Emma -
I’m glad you like my piece! Of course the whole PDA thing does differ from person to person, every relationship is different. I find it fascinating how it is though, along with the difference in homosexual relationships to heterosexual ones!
Please check out my other pieces too on: http://suki-says.co.uk :-)
January 10th, 2013 at 12:12 am
Hi Suzie-
I love your article and yes I agree with Emma it does bring up a good point. Now I have friends who are gay and it does appear harder for people to not just stare at them if they are showing affection in public. I mean really it bugs the crap out of me though, because some of them give really nasty sneers and start whispering. We live in the south and as a lot know its hard being affection in public if your not a straight couple due to the conservative southerns. But like you said, we need to be ourselves, I know a lot of my friends don’t pay attention to what others think, but I know it gets to them, we all just want to be able to go out and enjoy who we’re with and not be judged or looked down on because it’s not society accepting.
April 7th, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Sorry–this has nothing to do with your subject (plus men kiss for a different reason LOL) but where/how does one post a blog here? I have tried but can find nothing related to posting blogs here or at the facebook site.
Thanks
Martin
April 8th, 2013 at 10:08 am
Hey Martin, thanks for your message!
You can touch with me, Calvin, with some ideas for a blog and then we can take it from there. Send me a mail at calvin@gays.com
Thanks and have a great week!
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