John Quiñones of ABC News’ “What Would You Do?” decided to put America’s comfort level with gay parents to the test and set out for a diner in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, N.Y., to find out. The restaurant was rigged with hidden cameras and actors were hired to play gay parents and a homophobic waiter who refuses them service. Just how many people come to the defense of the gay parents? Watch to find out:
29 Responses
August 19th, 2010 at 8:22 am
I cried. It sucks that more people didn’t do anything, but I was so relieved to see that some people wouldn’t stand for that. It shows hope; a dim light at the end of this dark and disturbing tunnel.
August 19th, 2010 at 8:52 am
I was very disturbed and moved at the same time after watching the video’s, I am a lesbian and a gay parent to two beautiful children whom are now 21 and 18 yrs old. My lover and I of 8 1/2 yrs planned my children and I carried them even though I am the more masculine looking one, I raised my children to always stand up for what they believe in and to be who they are and never let anyone tell them they have to be anything they aren’t. I am glad you picked the people you picked to do that video because I would of flat knocked that waiter out, I can see how some people will be bias and prejudice but for someone serving the public to behave in such a manner is totally unacceptable. Despite what some may think about us gay people, trust me it is not a life we have chosen as it is who we were born to be. There is no one in their right mind would choose such a life that can bring out attitudes like that waiters, but then again if being straight is suppose to be normal then I think if I had to choose a life style then I’d rather be gay! I send my hugs to those that ever felt shame because their parents are gay and I’d like to say this…We didn’t bring you into this world to make your life rough, we brought you into this world because we love you. Our only crime is that we aren’t attracted to the opposite sex.
August 19th, 2010 at 8:56 am
One more thing…Sorry to say this but that waiter looked more gay than the two men or womyn posing as gays!
August 19th, 2010 at 9:09 am
Wow that was really hard to watch, but the truth unfortunately. I find it hard to believe that so many people could witness such a thing and say it’s none of their business. It’s just a sad and hard reality that we still have so far to go. Thank God for the two couples who did stand up for what is right!
August 19th, 2010 at 9:10 am
There are many people who turn blind eyes to discrimination but it all comes down to the thought “Does it affect me, or my interests.” I see more people sticking up for racism then sexuality discrimination. My friend who works at a restaurant frequently deals with customers saying “i don’t want a (insert racial slur for black, mexican, asian, etc.) as a server.” and i have heard 1 maybe two cases where a customer has actually said something. Heck even the management puts up with the requests, one customer even tried to get the waiter fired after the waiter asked him to stop calling him “BOY” (waiter is 40 years old) and told him he would be picking cotton if the customer had a choice. So if its now how many years after the equality of race was established, the LGBT community will have next to no support if we look at similar trends of tolerance over time. I am still actually rather upset that i see gay owned establishments and they are segregated! Where i live we have 3 “gay friendly” bars… and 2 of them are segregated into gay men only and gay women only. I walked into the female establishment to see what food they served and was stared right out of the damn bar and i was with my lesbian friend. I would like to think that if we are to get stronger as a community we need to support each other more.
Sorry for the wall of text and rant, but this happened to me recently and i felt the need to vent. Thanks for reading.
August 19th, 2010 at 10:01 am
REFUSING TO SERVE SOME ONE IN A RESTURAUNT BECAUSE THEY R GAY IS IN HUMAINE THATS LIKE REFUSING THEM SERVICE BECAUSE THEY R A DIFFRENT RACE OR THERE EYES R GREEN OR THEY HAVE B.O.OR THEY HAVE 100 TATTOOS WTF IS THERE PROBLUM R THEY SCARED THEY MIGHT TURN GAY IGNORENT PPL MAKE ME SICK
WOW IS ALL I CAN SAY ITS BAD ENUF THAT WE HAVE TO FIGHT FOR WHO WE R ON A DAY 2 DAY BACIS BUT 4 SUM ONE TO B THAT NIEVE MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH I AM A LESBIAN AND PROUD OF IT I AM NOT AFRAID TO DISPLAY MY AFECTION TOWARDS MY PARTNER PPL STARE AT ME BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A BOY BUT IT DONT BOTHER ME.I AM ALSO A PARENT AND WHEN MY SON CALLS ME MOMMY PPL GIVE ME A VERY DIRTY LOOK.Y R PPL SO BLINDED BY TODAYS SOCITY.MORE AND MORE PPL R GAY LESBIAN BI AND TRANSGENDER.WAKE UP PPL ITS 2010.GROW UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF.WE R HERE AND WE R QUEER IF U DON’T LIKE IT TO BAD.WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO FIGHT N E MORE BUT WE DO IT’S A BATTLE THAT HAS NOT BEEN WON.WE R WHO WE R AND NO 1 SHOULD CHANGE THAT.I AM PROUD TO B A LESBIAN I DARE SOME 1 TO REFUSE ME SERVICE BECAUSE I AM GAY
August 19th, 2010 at 10:35 am
That is soooooooo shocking and I feel ashamed for the people who said it had nothing to do with them–Especially the black couple who said it was non-of their business—Lets go back 100 years to when Black people wouldn’t have been allowed to sit in that restaurant—–As a gay man I would have stood up for them–and have done so in South Africa when a black couple weren’t allowed to eat near me in a cafe!
Its the 21st Century–Those people who turn their back’s and say—”Its non of my business,”should be ashamed!
August 19th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
IT WAS VERY SHOCKING AND SAD TO SEE HOW PEOPLE TURNED THEIR BACK OR DID NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THAT’S SO LOW ….I AM 47YO SINGLE GAY FATHER FOR TWO GIRLS BEEN RAISING THEM FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS AFTER MY XWIFE PASSED AWAY AND I WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY ANGRY IF THAT HAPPENS TO ME OR TO MY CHILDREN ….WE ARE AS HUMAN AS ANY ONE ELLS SO STOP THE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST FLOW HUMANS JUST STOP STOP …AND A NOTE ABOUT THE LADY WHO WAS LOL HER ASS OFF… THAT WAS PATHETIC LADY
August 19th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
I’m so relieved I was not in that retaurant cause I would have been all over that waiter. I don’t believe how people just stood there and said nothing, but if the tables were turned they expect people to defend them. Why doesn’t Juan Quinones come to washington Heights to do this show “what would you do”????????
August 20th, 2010 at 1:35 am
I watched the first part of this several times and shared it with my daughters. When my partner of 20 years came home from work, I shared it with her and then realized that there was a 2nd video. I am shocked that more people didn’t step in and try to stop the waiter. How could that Asian woman see that child crying and just look the other way. We are a Lesbian couple that chose to have children with our best male friends who just happen to be a gay couple of 30 years. I carried both children because my partner could not get pregnant. Each one of our daughters are a biological to each father. We do not live together, but daddy and dad, my partner and I are very much a happy family. We vacation together, go to pride parade’s together, celebrate holidays together and cry together when we lose one of our parents.
The thought of being turned away from a restaurant because we are Gays or Lesbians turn my stomach. I was amazed that 1/2 of the States in the US can turn you away and refuse serving you if you are Gay or Lesbian.
Our two daughters age 16 and 12 are very proud of their Gay and Lesbian parents and since they could speak, they would tell everyone they saw that they had 2 moms and 2 dads. Both our daughters win as we do too!
Thanks to ABC for putting this together. I hope now that people have seen it, maybe someone will step in the next time and stick up for us!
Thanks to all the positive comments! Mommy, Mama, Daddy and Dad
August 20th, 2010 at 3:04 am
I am so hurt by that video. I am a gay mother and to see no one responding to that little girl broke my heart, is that what my 4year old has to look forward too?
I can’t stand people “it’s none of my business” if it was any other minority group someone would have said something! Gays are at them bottom of the social poll… it makes me sick!
August 20th, 2010 at 5:13 am
Speaking as a heterosexual and a foreigner I am truly appalled at how homophobic America still is. I am a close friend of a lesbian couple, I totally support them when they are ready to have children. I know they will be better parents then a lot of ’straight’ people I’ve seen. They see having children as a privilege and it should be their right also. ‘All men are created equal…’ my ass! Is there a fine print in there somewhere that reads ‘And by all men we mean, straight, heterosexual Americans only of course’? Heterosexuals need to stand up and help fight for equal rights of all people. I don’t understand when people say ‘I don’t agree with it!’ There’s nothing to agree to, it is what it is. As long as children are raised with love and respect, it’s all that should really matter.
August 20th, 2010 at 5:43 am
I cheered out loud at 2:16 or so.
And I cried.
Frankly, I KNOW they were actors – but that pisses me off.
I know what it’s like to get ridicule,
be refused service, to get fought with on a constant basis,
because you’re gay.
The sad part is that I’m straight, I just evidently look gay.
How do you LOOK gay? How do you look straight? And why does it matter?
To people that have ever said “he looks like a fag”,
I hope you realise that with words like that, not only are you putting down your fellow man because you’re closed-minded -
you’re also setting yourself back in evolution, both socially and, from your attitude about it, mentally.
Grow up.
Be open minded.
Take a stand against shit like this.
August 20th, 2010 at 8:36 am
One thing is though, how many people who are gay themselves would step in? I suspect not many: people would just think “stuff that restaurant”.
August 23rd, 2010 at 3:54 am
wow it go on all the time . just last sunday me an my friend went out to eat at a will none restaurant. went the host took use to are table this loud mouth women say oooooooh my god we are going had to eat buy the queer will i told her were she could go amd i told her old man just shut his mouth are i will close it for him baby it go on all the time i no because i an a gay crossdersser and i an in the south , this is hell i an 100%%%%%%%%%% cd i do not were men cloth at all just women . love one hot gay i love it i an gay and i an proud of it that i and gay
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:41 am
I think this is a bit misleading. Do you think any of those people would have acted any differently had it been racism instead of homophobia?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect
This is more to do with the sociology of how people act in groups, rather than how people ‘let homophobia slide’. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. Since we feel that collectively our responsibility is less, when in a larger group.
The same thing happens with motor accidents, the busier the highway, the less people are likely to stop and help, but if there’s only one person passing a crashed car, they have no option but to stop. It has nothing to do with homophobia at all.
August 26th, 2010 at 2:34 am
I wasn’t shock to see that very few people stood up and defended the gay and lesbian couples. Though I wasn’t shocked in the least, I was still very mad at that. Those people are very nice and I’m happy to know that there are people out there. 2 of my friends are gay and are dating each other, both of them get bullied everyday because there lesbians. It’s sad when people are so stupid that they won’t even let others marry the same sex. I also have my moms best friend and past girlfriend married to her wife, and they had to move to a different state to get married. I’m bi and nothings gonna stand In my way of expressing myself. So there to the you idiots out there who hate us, well guess what I hate you to.
August 27th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
I’d like to think I’d step up and do the right thing, not high noon them.
August 30th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I can’t stop myself from crying about this. I am a lesbian and i grew up wit a lesbian mother. I’m disgusted by all the people who didnt say anything or just laughed about it!!!
August 31st, 2010 at 9:54 pm
I had instances with my two aunts like this. Although they aren’t my parents they still have a very deep bond with me and when our waitor refused to serve us because of both their, and my sexual orientation as well as them having two kids nobody did anything. I’ve never been so angry in my life and that was the only time I’ve ever had to confront someone who descriminates like that. It’s hurtful as well as outrageous. The Ukrainian woman made the same point that we did. We live in america! “Land of the free”
Gays should have just as much rights as anyone. People don’t have to believe or agree with it and they have a right to their opinions, but to do something such as refuse service and even kick someone out due to orientation is unnacceptable and should be put a stop to ASAP.
September 1st, 2010 at 12:04 pm
People just don’t like to get involved unfortunately, your sexuality is more or less a fetish but in today’s society homosexuality is becoming much more common practice defining more people every day. It can be discriminated against. It is.
Whether or not it’s normal is here or there.
It’s your choice what you do with life,
and however you live it,
live it proud.
I’d like to think people would stand up for me if i was discriminated against.
So I’d stand up them definately =)
September 2nd, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Adriana Trenary hit the nail right on it’s head. This posting was coming from a very open minded heterosexual woman, who see’s things as is. I watched the video and I was shocked at how many “people” turned a blind eye, because their food was more important? Then the interracial couple, who’ve been married for a long time, they were appalled over the bigotry of the waiter. It was easier to dismiss a gay couple yet over look the interracial couple? I was shocked that most if not all of those in that restaurant, stayed out of harms way, for it just goes to show us all, that we still need to stand up and fight for our rights as human beings. To not serve someone, just because they’re gay etc., is just wrong. Perhaps establishments need to post signs in their entrance ways that stipulate “we don’t serve the following” and list all the races, sexual orientations etc, before you enter into the business. I know gay families and children with 2 mom’s or 2 dads. These children are surrounded by so much love and raised with dignity that this stereotypical “normal family” really needs to be looked at closely. There’s nothing dysfunctional here, just societies perception of what a family really is. Thank you Adriana, for we need more like minded people like you, in this world.
November 22nd, 2010 at 7:22 am
good show to educate others
hope people would start to walk out with costumer that are mistreated and do not leave tips too bigots only tip they get is a lecture and call them a fool if it was real
February 18th, 2011 at 2:05 am
wow… people can be so prejudice and cruel. I prpbably would of raged if it was me :/
July 1st, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Wow! Just – wow.
July 13th, 2011 at 7:45 am
Thanks for an original article! As an avid reader of your blog I am always looking for online information regarding interesting topics.. Do you have a MySpace fan page? I would really like to become a fan!
November 21st, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Unquestionably consider that that you said. Your favourite justification seemed to be on the web the easiest factor to understand of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed at the same time as other people think about issues that they just don’t know about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and outlined out the entire thing without having side-effects , other people can take a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thanks!
December 6th, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Another thing I’ve really noticed is that often for many people, poor credit is the response to circumstances over and above their control. For instance they may have been saddled by having an illness and as a consequence they have large bills for collections. It may be due to a employment loss or perhaps the inability to work. Sometimes separation and divorce can truly send the funds in a downward direction. Many thanks for sharing your notions on this web site.
March 29th, 2012 at 8:45 am
If it was me, I would ask the waiter / waitress why he / she had not served the couple before. And if I did not get a satisfactory response as to why, then I would first very firmly say that they should be served NOW, not when the waiter / waitress felt like it, and if they refused, I would ask to see the manager, and ask him why the couple had not been served, and if he / she did not give a satisfactory answer, then I would tell them that they were in fact breaking the law by not serving the couple, who had every right to be there, and I also said that I would go to Trading Standards and also the press about this incident. I would also go to my local political representatives. I would that the restaurant management would be so embarrassed by the adverse publicity that they would even offer to compensate the couple for the distress caused by them.
Leave a Reply