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For most of my life before I was an adult, I felt as a multifaceted sexuality, I began dressing as a girl and presenting as a girl in 2nd grade. With an absent dad, the male attention compelled me. Family and friends knew me as a balance of feminine and masculine, both. At adult age my cross dressing went toward attracting the older black men like those I knew in 2nd grade, whom had filtered into the entirty of my fantasies, to create feelings of years before. The beginning years of looking to likely stayed only to my knowledge, A few years went by and I decided to speak openly, it wasn't the big deal that things seem today. My fantasy life remains the same naughty dream, but, seeking to realize them out in the world is not the same. Other extremely destructive habits were the accompaniment to the mission to gratify lustful figures, is a search long since ended. I feel as an incomplete version of my whole self, though presenting as a feminine person much of the time eases my spirit. I am interested in meeting, talking, listening and finding affinity, from here, as one may surmise, I'm not one to waste energy trying to "play hard to get."