Rekindling the flame

All relationships go through tough times, straight or gay. The trick is weathering them and coming out the other end – preferably stronger. Alex Hopkins takes a look at the ways you can avoid that ‘Brangelina’ breakup.


Get inventive in the bedroom

Once the sex goes, you know you’re in trouble. Hard questions are needed: do you still fancy one another? If not, why is there no longer an attraction? Try out some new tricks. Blindfold him with that floral tea-towel your auntie got you for Christmas or take up dogging/parking lot sex – get adventurous.



Communicate

The reason most relationships fall apart is because people don’t talk to one another. Sharing your feelings is vital if you’re going to keep things alive. But brace yourself for some cold hard truths. Utter honesty is the ground zero you can rebuild from.







Create moments

Life and routine have taken over. All you both ever seem to do is work, and then you just plunk yourself in front of the TV each evening. Do something special once a week. Recreate the date nights from your early days together. Pretend you’re 'courting' again, as the straights said in the old days.



Pros and cons

What brought you together in the first place? What is keeping you together now? Sometimes a healthy dose of pragmatism is called for. What are the benefits of staying in this relationship? Ultimately, you need to look at the payoffs and decide whether it’s worth investing any more of your time here.



Laugh!

Get funny, get cheeky – even get bitchy. If it means you both find something to scream with laughter about, do it. Lighten things up. Laughing together is a quick, easy way of releasing pressure and getting rid of that anger.







Stop being boring

You know what they say about straights becoming boring once they’ve been together a few years, well it’s no different with gays. You’ve stopped seeing your friends, you’re spending your Sundays at the DIY store, and you’ve now got three cats who you talk to more than one another. It’s time to get back into the real world. Reconnect with others, take up some new interests – together.



Attention

When did you stop telling him he looked hot? If you’ve stopped getting compliments from him, it’s probably because you’ve stopped giving them. You’re taking one another for granted; neither of you are making an effort to make one another feel attractive anymore, which of course, increases the probability that you’ll go seeking that extra frisson outside your relationship. Act now!



Cut the hostility

You’re giving one another the look of Eva Braun. The atmosphere in your home is like a mass comedown at a chillout. When it gets to the point that you dread being in one another’s company, desperate measures are called for. Someone needs to break the stalemate – make it you.



Open things up…

Open relationships are common in gay life, but that doesn’t mean they’re for everyone. Still, it’s a conversation you can have. If it’s just the sex that’s died, then this may work – but if something deeper is wrong, flinging your DNA at strangers could just be a quick fix which could lead to an even greater explosion, so consider carefully…