When any hole’s the goal…

What happens when a rampant top can’t find a bottom who grips like a vice? Gays.com takes a look at the high-tech sex toy wankathons offered by Fleshjacks...



Image courtesy of Fleshjack

A Fleshjack? What is it: some dodgy cross between a flashlight and a car jack?
 

Close, but no cigar. It’s shaped like a flashlight and will certainly light you up and jack you off. 

The Fleshjack, of course, is supposed to stand in for the ass – with internal material shaped to resemble real flesh, this is covered in a plastic case – the bit that looks like a flashlight. Simple – and oh so sophisticated.

Sophisticated? We’re talking about jacking one out here…
 

Indeed, we are, but in the last ten years, the world of penetrable male sex toys has been revolutionised. Forget ramming your bits into cheap bits of plastic and vinyl coated with fake pubes; the Fleshjack is sleek, modern and ultra-trendy. This isn’t a jerk off toy for some creepy, desperate old queen (no, really!) – this is a ‘masturbatory sleeve,’ darling. 

You’re making it sound like the latest smartphone…
 

Well, in many ways it is! These devices have been carefully fashioned with the most recent technology to as closely resemble a real ass as possible. 

So, it’s tighter than the real thing? Now we’re talking!
 

Well, certainly tighter than your average scene queen after a Pride weekend bender – and neither will you get the tedious “fuck me harder! Faster!” that you do from a power bottom. Prize those flaps apart and drill away.

Any preparation required?
 

For ultra-pleasure slip the flesh-like interior out of the plastic case and let it soak in some warm water for a bit. Once heated up, it’ll be sufficiently sloppy and gag for that dick of doom - it’ll be so realistic you’ll practically hear it squeal with delight.

And afterwards, this is going to get messy, isn’t it?
 

Good sex is messy – anything else is a let-down – and masturbation should be no different. Once you’ve dumped your load, give the inner sleeve a good washing out. Just don’t leave it on the draining board for your flat mate to find.

Ok, you’re convincing me – but it’s still not my dream bottom
 

No, but it’s the next best thing – and will cost you a damn site less to hire too. The ‘Fleshjack Boys’ range comes fashioned in the same shapes and sizes as your favourite porn stars. Take your pick from the Boomer Banks (brave bottoms can opt for the life-size dildo modelled on Boomer’s humongous meat cleaver); the Cody Cummins or the Pierre Fitch – to name just a few.

Choose your texture, close your eyes and make them wail! Porn, after all, is now so mainstream and accessible that it’s only logical that you should have the best bit of your favourite idol waiting under your bed.

What's YOUR favourite sex toy? Answers below!