Bi-curious Girlfriends - Love and Romance

[Deleted Member]

So ... here's one I haven't read on this site as of yet.

We ladies tend to have female friends that we love to be around for the purpose of sharing news/stories/gossip etc. We go to lunch together, movies, hug each other when we're sad or happy. It's what we do. We're emotional and caring creatures of God.

I, for one, have a friend that I feel I must let go of because she tried to kiss me when I went to hug her. It was awkward for me but she seemed satisfied in relaying she wants to take it past our friendship. Funny thing is, everyone is exposed to my girlfriend in one way or another because she is always on my mind and lips - I speak of her often enough. I don't just have a girlfriend: I intend to marry this woman within the next 6 months. My friend knows this - has even met her.

My question is: How do you convey to your gal-pals that you're 'just friends' without ruining your friendship?

[Whimsical_Hp]

I know huh, people don't wanna take women in love very seriously. shame. Just be up front and honest with her. You setting a boundary of "friends only" should not ruin your friendship! If it does you should ask how deep that friendship was to begin with. Only communicate this sensitive topic in a loving respectful way. Should all be good in the end.

[Su****]

I definitely agree with Whimsical. If you have a good and solid friendship, she should be able to understand and respect your feelings about the whole thing. It may be a little weird and continue to be a bit awkward, but if the friendship is solid, I would think that you will both be able to work it out.

[Deleted Member]

What you said is very true. Women-in-Love are perceived as "visual stimulation" for both - men AND women - and not looked at as two people serious about one another. As for the suggestion: I did confront my friend about this; the one-sided kiss took place AFTERWARDS .... The confrontation was due to a 'rumor' I heard she was going to make a pass at me and I jumped right in and talked to her one-on-one. She said she understood and respects my relationship with my girlfriend. So what gives? Was it just curiosity? I have an abundance of female friends who "jokingly" say if they were to try a girl for the first time, they'd rather it be me. I always say, "thanks but I'm so very taken" and they think it's cute. I'm really serious.
I'm going with my heart and letting this friendship go. It's just not worth it to me.

[Deleted Member]

Well, the way I see it, is that when you are in love you can't hide it. You transmit such powerful vibes of happiness and love that everyone wants a piece of that. It's only natural to attract more and more people close to you.

Now regarding friends. If they cross the line, the only thing you can do is to be as clear as possible. Tell her in a straight face that you are not interested. If she's really your friend, she'll understand and in time she'll only feel friendly feelings for you. I've been in her place. All I needed was time to get over my feelings and then become the best friend ever. However, if friendship isn't real then I'm sorry but there never was a friendship to begin with.

[Deleted Member]

Hey Eva? Thank you cuz I really like my friend. We're similar in age and both lesbian. My other gal-pals are in my age-range but all straight and so there are some things we just don't have in common. And finding a close friend at the age of 49 is just so-hard-to-do!
I'll speak with her once more.

[Deleted Member]

Finding a close friend is a hard thing to do no matter the age!!!! :-) Since you like your friend, I believe that it'll work out eventually.

May advise you, to be clear with her as much as possible? When I got rejected, I didn't want to have any hopes so as not to get confused any more; so I tried to clear things and that helped me to change my feelings. And one last thing; let her know that you'll be there for her. When I got rejected, I got hurt and I tried to put a distance between me and my friend. But eventually, I turned around. Time is all that is needed.

Both your friend and your girlfriend are lucky to have you since you are so willing to fight for both of them! :-) Wish you well!