Ba**** Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I guess tonight of all nights my emotions are hitting me pretty hard. Ive ended another relationship and I'm alone again. For the life of me I cant figure out ; Why is love so hard? I mean its easy for me to fall in love, get someone to fall in love with me but it's that middle shyt that i have a hard time with. The juicy middle, the maintaining the relationship that stiffles me. I just don't understand......I wanna be in love with someone, have someone be in love with me......but stuff just gets complicated and I bail out. If you are reading this, im just rambling trying to process my own shyt. Oh, i guess if love waseasy no one would be alone tonight.
Ka**** Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 cause the bad shit make the good stuff so much better. u have to work on a relationship if u want to be together, no its never easy but that's life. u live, u die and u get fucked inbetween but sometimes its not the way u wanted it to. being alone is not the end of the world, u'll find someone eventually, if nothing else injoy dating again.
Deleted Member Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 My relationship lives strong because my wifey and i respect one another. Once we got past the newness of our relationship, we sat down to discuss how we want to be so that we can do that "juicy middle - the maintaining the relationship" part. And because of that, we're cool. We know what we can disagree on, so we know what fights we should pick and so we don't fight! If you want that love and romance, get that middle part working for you, Bayleigh and you won't find yourself alone. It's really worth it.
Deleted Member Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 You have to get passed the honeymoon stage and start to listen and communicate what you can do within the relationship that can work. Maybe you didnt do your homework and find out if you personalities match before you went to bed. But the crux of the matter, If you learn to work out your differences, some you willl have to bend, and learn you cannnot be the one and all without friendships and without making life and love a new thing to work out. It is more work, but what you will have is a better more satisfying love.
Deleted Member Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I'm sorry you feel this way Bayleigh- and I'm sorry that your relationship didn't work out. I am kinda in the same boat as you. I can make it to yr 4, and then my partner turns into something else, and we part. One of the more ***ful times was when I said "It's the *** or Me, take your pick". I didn't know it then, but addiction usually wins. I gave myself the old talk about not being good enough to win out, and my friends, they talked me into believing otherwise, Thank God! I'd like to do the same for you. I'd like to ask you to give this idea some thought: There is a reason for everything, and it is always given to us for a good cause. If you believe in a "higher power", I call him God, even the bad stuff in life is all towards our good. Perhaps there was a reason to be with your partner, and now God's purpose has been fulfilled, and it's just time to move on. I believe that I have "been there and done that", good and bad, to prepare me for the next thing in life. So by the time "THE ONE" most perfect partner comes on the scene, we'll be ready to be that perfect match. My hope is that this truth (Romans 8:28) will help you feel better. We can always plan and think we know what we want, then, God gives us something better! So don't be too hard on yourself, just keep on moving on, more will make sense regarding this relationship later, I'm sure of it! :-)
Victoria_Jean_44414 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I say sometimes, you just have to fuck.
Grace_Noyes Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 You just have to be able to listen to your partner and know that she is listening to you . Communication, trust, and respect are the keys to keeping that "Juicy Middle Part -Maintaining the Relationship" from being overly complicated and difficult.
Marianne_Messer Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 my gf and i keep communicating even though we're still in the honeymoon stage she went through some shit that she wouldnt change because it brought me to her
Deleted Member Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 i agree with you both on communication being an essential part of a relationship. Like a tree it will grow and be strong, but it must also bend and allow for some changes to occur as in life. Not all discussions have a definite answer, it is not going to always be 50/50. There are going to be sometimes just allow for somethings not to resolved easily. Nobody always has to win, but negotiate and pick what is important. Then no matter what try to go to bed together peaceful and hopefully make up.
Marianne_Messer Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 that was beautiful Teri especially the part about going to bed peaceful
Deleted Member Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 thanks Maianne, but the two of you before it gave me all the material to work with. We all make an awesome team.
Deleted Member Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Terri and Marianne: That's why I keep coming back! Having like life styled friends to talk with is the bomb!!!
Deleted Member Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I like meeting ppl and possibly helping someone out. I have worked a hotline in Va. and have been an aids buddy in my past.. We all have our past relationships to rely on for reference and other experience.
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