Where Have All The Real Guys Gone?!! - Looking for LOVE!!!

[Mark_Cutler]

By this, I'm talking about the guys who don't want to play silly, childish head games with us. I've gone through this too many times, and I'm tired of the bullshit. I just got out of a "so-called relationship" on here, where I thought this young man loved me. Turned out he didn't know what he wanted. So, in other words, he wasted my time, thinking I had something going, and then dumped on me. How rude. So yeah, I'm tired of the bullshit. How many others here agree with me. I want to hear your opinions.

[Deleted Member]

Dude, I can't tell you the number of times I'll have a conversation that in 2 o r 3 exchanges they're "in love" with me ... Typically its Filipinos or guys from Ghana. Oft-times its because they have no way of expressing their sexuality where they are, so they express it here.

I like meeting people here, getting to know them and their lives, and becoming friends ... but I don't believe you can develop a love relationship online. I've tried. It doesn't work. I want the physical part to go with the emotional part.

[Mark_Cutler]

Very true, Aaron. I guess, maybe, I should just look for friendship on here. Although to be honest, I met someone from Ghana, and all he wanted was for me to buy him a webcam. Man, I ignored his ass, quick. Far as the guy who broke my heart, he was Asian.

[Deleted Member]

I know what you mean...I just got tired of waiting and being called "my man" and yet, not really feeling that part...so many mind games being played...while all the time... my heart is empty.

[elSac08]

Totally agree with you guys; first lesson I've learned is that the "L" word is precious to me - it means something; when a guy uses it within a few conversations, or even within 1 or 2 dates - that spells TROUBLE!

[Percy_Watkins]

I totally understand what you mean, Mark. I just went through the same thing. But not online...Met this guy, a few months back ...We talked on the phone for like three months before we met face to face again...He laid it on thick , until he got what he wanted.. I was in love all by myself..For the first time at that!

[Deleted Member]

There are just way to many warning signs, for you've already posted what you've encountered. "My man, sweetie, love, honey, babe" consider these to be the tell tale sign of something that's just not right. For starters, any man (or woman) who spits out these words in an email or chat, warning bells should of went off immediately. If they're from a foreign country, more warning bells. I get highly suspicious when all of the above mentioned, comes into play. When they try to add me as a friend, if we've not yet chatted, the email gets deleted. If they send a "friend" request and they have nothing on their profile, I immediately click "ignore". Like Mark, I'm sick of the bullshit. This holds true for all those rent boys in here too. Peddle your asses else were. There are dozens of other sites on the net, why hit this one? Eventually, they'll get the hint and simply, fuck off!. Online romances seldom survive. Contact physically is a must for any relationship. If they live i a foreign country, physical contact is well, impossible unless someone is willing to travel and that alone can be costly. Not to mention the bullshit one must endure with customs etc. The warning signs are out there and it seems that you guys have already figured them out. As for those just starting to follow this thread, please heed our warnings and don't get suckered in. Stay close to home. Don't fall into this trap. Is it worth having your heart/head twisted? Think about it. I have met someone online and yes, we have met in person. We took that step to make physical contact. He is local. To hear or read some stranger who states that "they love you" is well, wrong? To soon? Love is a very powerful word and to many toss it around like it's nothing. You have to feel it in order to fully respect and understand the full impact of this word. Without it, it's just a word. Love blossoms in time and not seconds or minutes. These guys who simply throw this emotion around, they really don't know it's true, valued meaning. Just be careful guys. Don't set yourselves up to get hurt. Its not worth it. When it's "real" you'll know.

[Mark_Cutler]

Boy doesn't that ring true, Krystoffer. I've heard that line I love. my dearest, my love, my darling bullshit too many times. I agree, they should fuckoff and go find themselves another site to play their mind games with people

[Mark_Cutler]

I thank you all, guys for adding to this. you are all right about the L word being thrown around too much. Percy, I had one guy close by, who only wanted a piece of ass, so he could lose his virginity. How fucked up is that shit

[Deleted Member]

Fucked up. So he wanted a complete stranger to pop his cherry? First time getting fucked should be memorable. Even at my age of 45, I can recall my first time and this fella, really cared for me. It was slow, methodically gentle. He would always ask me if I was ok. Does it hurt, if it does, I'll stop. Ah, fond memories. To simply connect with someone, that you barely know, just to loose your virginity? Now that is, fucked up! I knew the man who took mine. Knowing the person you're with, someone who is experienced and who won't rush, is very important. Someone who just wants to fuck you without any regards to how you feel? Hello, that is just... well wrong? And yes Mark, it would be fucked up! But for those who really want, need, desire to experience this, really need to take a step back and look at the pro's and con's of this whole concept of simply, loosing ones virginity to a complete stranger.

[Deleted Member]

I wish I had read what you guys are saying before last winter... I had my ass burned bad this past January because of online dating. 2 months of "I love you" etc. over MSN (he was local but visiting people far away during those 2 months), then when we finally met in person, it was only for an afternoon, and that was it ..and I didnt even get sex out of it! (just a makeout session on the beach)
He wasn't from a foreign country, tho he wasn't white but Amer. Indian.. (mostly), and he was local... and he didnt say 'I love you' right off the bat, but only after a couple weeks worth of chatting, and even after I suggested waiting till we had met face-to-face before saying that, he reassured me he still would. So I really got sucked in! I just don't think he knew what he wanted, or else he realized that I wasnt it. I got pretty depressed after that time - and still hardly a day goes by I don't think of him, I guess because nothing has happened for me since and I still don't really know what went wrong. All I know is NO MORE ONLINE DATING! No matter how 'real' it feels.
These guys I've been talking to from other sites, after I told them the above story, have tried telling me that gay guys are all about one thing: cock. (even tho he dumped me before we even had a chance to fuck). Reading what you guys have to say, that doesn't seem to be the case, at least not for some gay guys.. But I'm still waiting to meet ANY local gay guy in my age range, and anonymous sex is looking pretty good right about now.....

[Deleted Member]

Eric,
As I tell all my girlfriends that ask me why the men they date are such fucks I tell them "Men are ONLY interested in ONE thing ... getting off!"
Yet, I still hope that one day I will find love ... that we will all find love. Because that is THE GREATEST GIFT in the universe ... to love and be loved in return.
The most difficult part of finding love is waiting without being desperate, wanting without compromising, and believing despite indications to the contrary.
Why is it this way? Fuck if I know.
And, yet, right now, I have met a guy - VERY different from what typically attracts me - and we had a great time and I am trying not to jump into believing I love him and he loves me without also seeming to be distant and cold.
Why finding love is so challenging ... I wish I knew ... but I believe it will happen for you, for everyone.

[elSac08]

Aaron, thanx for that comment; it gives me a semblance of "hope"

[Deleted Member]

Well Aaron you're just confirming what I've really come to believe over the last year (if not more) - that guys are fucked.
I'm not desperate.. seems like most guys see no problem with just nsa sex, so maybe I should join the club.... Just wonder why 99% of guys looking for sex (judging by the ads on craigslist for example) are not looking for love as well, just sex. Of course half of those are married/'straight'/'bi'/'curious' types..

[Deleted Member]

Ah Craigslist, right up there with Kijiji! I've looked over both those sites and Eric, you are bang on correct. They're no different that gay.com, squirt.org or any other get laid quick sites. Most cater to the guy, just looking for a fast fuck, the nsa kind. NSA is ok yet it can get to be a tad boring. Even having a few fuck buddies, that too, can get boring. Having a significant other? Now, this takes time. Relationships form in the most unexpected situations and most oftenly, when neither one expects it. You are correct in thinking that guys are fucked (or want to get...). I've had my fair share of those types. Just like what Eric tells his girlfriends who complain about their men. Same shit, not so different pile. Not all men are created equal for some actually use the head that's between their shoulders and not their legs. So, to jump into the group of guys that are only out for that fast fling, eventually, you'll find someone who wants more, than just a fast fling. It's rare, I know but hey, anything is possible, right?

[Deleted Member]

It wasn't me that has girlfriends who complain about men, but Yes.. It may be boring for you but I can't say so because I never even get that far.. I may lower my expectations and giving in to craigslist, but I consider a LTR to be the ultimate goal.

[Deleted Member]

You know guys I dont know the full meaning of love since I'm only 19y/o, but one thing I have learned is that love takes time. love will come to all of you when you least expect it. by love Im referring to someone who will make you feel secure, happy, loved (not only physically), and makes you feel like you don't need anything else but him (his touch, kiss, caress...) someone that has that smell you love and can't forget. [sigh] If only there were alot of man like the one I described... who not only say they love you.... they show it and get you high every time they get close to you [SIGH] like a taste of ecstasy

[Deleted Member]

It doesn't help me to stop thinking of it when you put it that way...
but no argument from me on that.

[Deleted Member]

I agree with Ramon...Love doesn't know age limits...and you hit it on the spot...it does take time...whether it's a gay or str8 relationship...the hardest part is finding a significant other that agrees with your needs and expectations...I've been looking and haven't found him...YET...but I believe that there is someone there...and I will continue to look, because IF I believe that there isn't, then I become just like the REST...I've done the NSA thing and it doesn't fulfill that void in the heart...I've fell in love too, but the other party had no interest in in me, but with someone else...it's just hard...LIFE is hard in general...but I CAN'T give up on LIFE...belief is essential into continuing on with life and love...if NOT...then we're no better than those who we talk about...find your love...it's a needle in a haystack...but if we don't continue to look...then we just become like the hay...I know I will...and I'll probably get my heart broken...but that's what life's about...risks and experiences..

[Deleted Member]

yes definitely in life if you don't take risks you won't gain anything at all.... I have to learn how take risks myself.... you never know what will come out, the love of your life comes out of nowhere without you realizing it and the only way to find it is by taking risks

[Deleted Member]

If I just knew what risks to take I'd be with you... I've learned that online is no way to find a bf, and I've been told the bars aren't either (I've been in them only a few times but I dont doubt that assessment).. so where do you go to meet guys? It doesn't help me living in a small town, I realize, but still?

[Deleted Member]

I must admit its hard to meet men out there. but look around you, you would be soo suprised of the men who walk around you. I just wish we as individuals would be more open to talking face to face. why can't we all meet in skype? and talk! nothing else just get to know each other.... skype is the best option in my opinion.

[Deleted Member]

Is anyone else having the same trouble with this stupid site as I am??

[Mark_Cutler]

if you mean all the guys who don't seem to really know what the fuck they want, then yes

[Deleted Member]

Well I was talking about technical problems, but that too I guess....
Actually I have more trouble with non-gays.com guys not knowing what they want - you guys all seem to have your heads on more or less straight (so to speak).. Not that I've heard from anywhere near EVERYBODY here, mind you