Realization..awakening - Love and Romance

[Mi****]

I know I have not been on this site for a long time like months. Went through a process in life and came to a really real realization. That while I identified myself as lesbian, and came out to others when asked, I never fully accepted my sexual identity as a lesbian until recently. I know that sounds strange however I grew up in the 70's and 80's when you did not discuss such matters and it was private and you kept it hidden. Perhaps this is like a second coming out. I donot know. What I do know is that I will never again hide any part of who I am or my identity. I wanted to share this with you my fellow community because it has been difficult living by self and not really knowing anyone in san antonio texas. I know people at work however that is work and they are just Snarky(out for themselves). Family well i don't have any physical family for they were killed in a car accident by a drunk driver 21 years ago.

So now I want and seek to embrace that part of myself. I am glad that I did come to fully accepting me and really embracing my identity. There is a freedom in knowing thyself and being proud.

I am glad that there is a community for us here at this site. What a great support...

Just wanted to share and thank you for your support.

Kat

[Sh****]

*Big hug* Kat!

[Ab****]

I know where you are comming from I also grew up in the 70 and 80 and I agree coming out was not some thing that you wanted to do esoecially with friends because of being afraid of what people might think. And people still look down at us but I think that if we stick together what other people thisk about us don't matter because our community is what is important.

Rick

[Mi****]

@Sharon. Thank you for the hugs.

@Rick. I am glad that I am not alone.. I want to get involved with our community here in San Antonio and all around. To finally feel at home and not some lost hidden "Cat"(play on of my name Kat).. You are right we have to stick together....

Thank you.
Kat

[Sa****]

i'll join Sharon Saw on a group hug.

[Mi****]

@Sarah, thank you for the support.

Kat

[Ti****]

I'm so proud that you have joined our community. We love to see new faces and I love to see someone finally coming to accept themselves. I am butch so its hard sometimes for me to deal with the discrimination I get from others regarding the way I look, with every person almost, knowing I am a lesbian or thinking at the very least that I am a woman trying to look like a man. So it took me a long time to accept myself exactly how I am. I went through all kinds of things before I found the "real" me and also too struggled with acceptance of the gay lifestyle when I finally came out too. Every lesbian has been through what you are going through and have been through thus far with the coming out process, if they havent it is very rare and they are very blessed. I was married in my ***s and early 20's to a man and had 2 children. It was a VERY difficult process for me because I had a family disown me literally for years when I came out. I have always been a masculine girl with too much damn testosterone but my family didnt believe...or didnt want to, that I was gay. I had short hair and wore my husbands underwear, jeans and T-shirts and they wondered?? Wow the way denial can work to destroy relationships. Anyway, Im proud of you. It will get easier and easier as you move along in this process and it IS a process hon. Keep up the trudging, you will get there just like we mostly all have and did.

[Br****]

It was very hard for me to accept who I am. I'm very lucky to have a family that understands and doesn't ridicule me for it. Welcome to the family, Kat!

[Mi****]

@Tina, Thank you Tina. It is a journey isnt it...I had keep word had a friend that thought well maybe if you dated the right guy then you would not be lesbian. Then once she realized I was yeah no more friendship cause you know jehovah does not believe in lesbians... I just thought wow really...I am just amazed at the discrimination we encounter....Thank you for sharing your story...its really all of our stories...

@brittany, Thank you for the welcoming, I finally feel at home..

Kat

[Br****]

I had a lot of "friends" who stopped talking to me when I came out. I found it rather funny that they couldn't accept me for who I am. I was harassed by them forever but I'm still me. I'm also glad you're finally feeling at home.

[Sa****]

The hardest place to be is when you have to choose between bein your self or bein what others say you should be. I admire those who are stronge enough to stand out we all suffer from time to time for our chioce. it may not be easy but the best people i know are right here, they suport one another with out question. bravo ladies... good as any home i know

[Mi****]

@britanny, I know. It amazes me how they want to know then when they do they go away. I wonder what they would feel like if the roles were reversed. Whelp so sorry you are heterosexual so back to the bus for you...However I am glad that we stand strong.

@Samatha, Yes this community is awesome in their support. We stand strong..its about whats right, its our life.

[Sa****]

Most defently Kat.