First love - Love and Romance

[Kait_Snow]

Why in the world is it so hard to get over that girl??

[Deleted Member]

Because. You gave this girl your heart. She made you happy. She probably showed you things that no one has ever showed you before. That's what I think at least

[Kait_Snow]

True true. I guess its stupid of me to think i will never find that again hey..

[Jo****]

Kaitlyn, .. well, i am walking the same steps like how you feeling now .. i am also waiting for another gal to come into my life to replace the footprint that my first gal left in my heart ..

[Sh****]

you will never be the same again .... that first girl will always be part of you but you will find someone else and she will be even more special than that first girl... because she will be with you while that girl in your memory is not...

don't look for someone to replace her because then you will always be comparing.. instead, find someone who will carve a new niche in your heart and not try to replace the hole that the other girl left... because that will never happen.

hope that makes some sense...

[Jeanie_Baker]

That's so true Sharon and another thing to don't fall for the same sort because there was a reason the relationship did not last. We tend to gravitate was is comfortable for us. Write down what the last relationship lacked and maybe look for someone with your own needs in mind sometimes helps. The more you have in common the better but it still does not always work out. The last girlfriend I had, she had a lot in common with me but the most important factor. Honesty!
So honesty, kindness, thoughtfulness, open mindedness and non- judgmental are good factors to look for too.
Time heals all wounds.

[Kait_Snow]

Thanks guys..
Yeah its really really hard right now. I cant seem to do anything.
This is about the six time we have broken up and got back together... Sigh..
Its all pretty much because of me. So i feel very rotten, and trying to change it.

[Jeanie_Baker]

So do you keep making the same mistake or what. What is pushing her away from you? That's the key. Being honest with yourself and making positive changes. If your not willing to change then you need to leave her be and find someone else you can be compatible with and maybe find a way to stop the cycle of what makes you hurt her or anyone for the matter. We need to find out why we are so unhappy and when we realize we are being selfish, or jealous, or get too emotional or controlling or whatever it is that is keeping us from being complete and happy inside, then and only then will we find the answer.
Once we are honest about our own imperfections then we can sit down, think it out, write out what causes the unhappiness and then take positive actions to remedy it and find happiness. No one is perfect, so all we can do is keep trying to improve and not judge ourselves too harshly either. When we accept ourselves it is easier to accept others.

[sa****]

i can't say the 1st girl but i can say getting over ur very 1st love there may have been others but the 1st love it's so hard, i'm tryn so i decided to go out and just enjoy myslf not including sleeping around that's not my style. but when u find out how please let me know, it's hard but it must be done. it's been hard to go out even though it's over i've grown so accustm to what we shared that going out without her is hard, so i have to take that step though i'm totatlly looking for nothing but just sit at d bar and laugh it up with my buddy. u will be okay it's hard but it will happen for u

[sa****]

sharon thax that's beautifully put, i love and will try again thx

[Kait_Snow]

Jeanie And Evette. That is really good advise.
Well firstly, i know why i lost her, ive been mean, childish,
ive lied and manipulated.... You all must think im completely terrible.. cause i think that too. I havent been very nice at all. But thats got to change! I said it to her each time we had broke up, but i never did it which i regret. Its time to grow up. Im very very willing to change. But she thinks im lying and that i cant. I cant blame her, she gave me six chances, but still i insisted on being a child. Im trying very very hard to improve. Its just so hard when i dont even want to get out of bed...

And yeah.. First love. She was my first everything.. And yeah sleeping around isnt my style either. And yeah i know what its like when your not looking for anything but to just to find yourself again. Its very very hard... And yeah i know it will happen for me.. im just stubbon, and i dont want it to. Which is completely stupid. I just want her to be happy now. But its so hard when i just want to be with her.
Thankyou guys.. First love is hard.

[Se****]

You're young and beautiful. You will make tons of mistakes as you figure out life. When I was young, I was such a jerk. i still am. its part of being human.

[Sh****]

life is simply about choices... we can choose to be selfish and be alone or change.... and it's not difficult really.

i'd never been monogamous and wore it like a badge of honour, hurting a lot of people along the way until i met my current gf, who wouldnt take my sh*t. Finally i had to decide that i could continue to f*ck around and NOT have my gf or behave like a human being and have her.

We've been together for 9 years and yes i still have my childish moments but we work it through and i know when to not cross the line and to respect her.

i like what you said re you're just stubborn and don't want to it's just realising that you want to do it because what you gain is more important than your stubbornness

if she's given you 6 chances, that's pretty amazing. if she gives you the 7th one, don't screw it up. there probably won't be another one so you have to choose.. you want to be stubborn and not have her or you want to change and have her.

it's really that simple.

good luck...

[Kait_Snow]

Thankyou Sharon. So true. My god if i got the 7th chance.... Wow. I would NOT be screwing it up.
6 chances is alot... She loved me so much. She says she doesnt need me now. And wont reply to me.. but how can someone who has loved me for so long, just stop loving me? I really want to stop it. But im not sure at all how to earn that 7th chance. =\

And Serina. Thankyou.. I needed someone to tell me i am beautiful... I dont feel it right now. And yeah.. i have screwed up alot! And probally will again.

[Sh****]

Kaitlyn, what you need to do now is to change for YOURSELF.. not for her... when you change for yourself, you will become a better person... and whoever comes along, whether it's this woman you're in love with or another, will love you because you're a better person to be with.

Nobody wants someone who lies and manipulates (this is not a judgment call but a statement).

Prove yourself to be a lovely person... and when your ex sees that you've changed, she may be open to you again. but she would need to see that you have changed... cos she believed you 5 times but was proven wrong. it's probably that she hasnt stopped loving you but she is tired of being hurt.

just hang in there and do the right thing and have a wonderful and fabulous life that you deserve and whoever you're with deserves too

(p.s. yes we will screw up, we're only human... but try not to make it a major one )

[Kait_Snow]

Yeah i know its not a judgmental statement. I think that too.. No one wants to be with a liar and manipulator.
And yeah. I am changing for myself. Because i want too. And need too.
I hope one day she can see that..

I guess thats the thing.. all my screw ups have been kinda major. So its got to stop.
Thankyou Sharon. I will hang in there. And yeah.. i am only human.

[Se****]

You're also young. You have lots of time to grow up and be responsible. It sucks that your mistakes hurt someone else, but if I had a dollar for everyone I hurt along the path of my life, I'd take all of gays.com out for dinner :P. Basically, I'm saying give your self a break

I would say more, but Sharon has the best sage advice, and I can't add to perfection

[Jo****]

yup, Sharon gave the best advice .. and she really share what she learn from her own experience :P ...

Good job Sharon .. !!!

[Jeanie_Baker]

Kaitlyn it sounds like you know yourself like Sharon said it is about choices if you keep making bad choices you won't be happy. They say misery loves company but why find someone to be miserable with when you can find someone good to be happy with. Happy - Miserable. It's not really that hard of a choice when you think about it. Your being honest with yourself and that is no one beginning. Now make changes everyday to make better choices. As they say, when your tired of being tired you will change and make better choices and when you do your whole life changes.

[KA****]

jeannie i rthink i luv u lol
ur right on target i agree totally with ur imput....to add jeannie ''when ur tired of being ''hurt'' u wont allow urself anymore.. u arden up and either fight or let it go totally... xoxo thumbs up jeannie