Been with her HURTS..I NEED SOME ADVISE - Love and Romance

[Deleted Member]

So my girlfriend and I been dating for 13 months. Lately she keeps doing stuffs I totally HATE!! We fight alot, we always have this arguements that go nowhere.. But now she is turning into an alcoholic, she drinks herself to sleep.. She wakes up and drinks.. All she does is drink.. She doesnt believe in *** but yet she is doing them. She has tried to kill herself 3 times before.. But those times I wasnt part of her life.. Meaning I didnt know her.. But now she is feeling like starting to do it again.. I dont like it and she knows it.. She also knows that is she does any of that stuffs again she will loose me.. But she knows that ill help her no matter what.. She has never lied to me.. But I'm scared that she will lie to me if she does it again.. I ask her twice a day, evevery morning and every night. But I live in Fayetteville, NC and she lives in Savannah, GA. I'm moving there in about 5 month if things go right, but if they go wrong ill be moving there in January..

I love her with all my heart but she is hurting me with all of this..

Any opinions?

[Li****]

hey.. whts up my advice to u is if u luvv her then be strong support her & help her out. but if all of thats goin on then u also have to have a talk with her & c whts up with her.. if im correct shes obviously not happy about sumn in her life so she does that stuff to meanwhile take the *** away.. then again how long have u been dating her ??

[Deleted Member]

13 months.. I tlkd to her ik whats wrong.. She is like this cuz m not there.. She told me at 1st she will stop drinking when I get there n I said that she has to stop now.

[Li****]

oh wow. okay. umm.. it s kinda complicated. i mean everyone has personal problems. all i can tell u is to support her 100 percent. let her know ur there for her no matter wht.. that she can always count on u. she needs to be strong have faith & trust the things u guys have planned.. lol ! but if u love her y not move right away ??

[Li****]

& im sorry i meant to ask out of the 13 months youll have been dating since u said that youll live in different states.. every when do youll c eachother ? .. & speaking from experience long distance relationships suck..

[Deleted Member]

well we used to live in Hawaii thats how we met.. then I moved here in August 19 n she came to see me in Oct 8 or something before that.. she stayd here for a month soo we only been apart for like a month cuz of Sept n 3 wks now cuz in Nov 4 I went to SC n she moved to GA that day.. soo we havent had much of the been apart thing.. and I havent moved w her cuz my *** is in Iraq n my nieces live here and I cant leave them until my *** comes bck or like 2 months or 3 before that.. they are 7 and 3 yrs old..
IDK how a long distance relationship is.. Cuz I like to be w the person feel them.....and more

[Li****]

oh wow that explains a lott.. c ive nvr been the type to be into *** or alcohol either i used to pride myself in that.. till a highschool friend of mine & me lived together. she convinced me... but this other chic she wasnt my gf but we were like friends with benefits. she saw me drinking & she didnt like it. she told me.. but i continued lol & this is like 2-3 smirnoffs lol. my friends didnt like that so they didnt like her. so i thot ok i just wont drink around her.. but we hung out all the time.. she eventually got so fed up she even told my mom about it she over exaggerated about it. well one time we went to san antonio for vacation stayiing in a hotel with friends & i was a little tipsy. we got into to it bad. she cried & was really mad at me.. but i stopped after & this is only like in 3-4 time occasion were speaking of..

[Deleted Member]

Yeah.. I dont like *** but I have smoke weed like 5 times lol I was bored n it was just there lol I didnt get high lol but ill never do it again lol and drinkin I do it from time to time.. ppl say m like an alcoholic but I drink like once every 6 months lol soo m like wtf they drink everyday soo I dont understand how am I the alcoholic one lol..
Anyways that girl u were with esta loca lol damn I would have been mad as hell lol thats why I dont introduce my friends to my mom n she lives in Puerto Rico soo it makes it soo much easy lol
the thing bout this relationship is that I have NEVER dated any other girl but her.. she is my first in EVERYTHING!! lol soo this is like all new to me..

[Amanda_Heikkila]

I'm sorry but in my opinon is since i grew up with an alcoholic father your girl is going to need more help then just you to get sober and since i use to be a cutter. It sounds like she is clinicly depressed and more in like unless she is seeing a therapist to talk to and find the root of what is truely behind the wanting to cut herself she never truely stop in the first place. See people that cut themselves end up being addicted to it. It ends up being like a drug.It took me almost ten years to stop completely and sometimes I still want to but from therapy I learned ways to control the desire. Your girlfriend need you there and anyone else in her life to help and support her thur this difficult time but telling her you will leave if she doesnt quite will only make it worse. When you talk to her use caution in the way you word your sentences to her. I hope everything gets better and hope I help even a little.

[Deleted Member]

I know why she is like this.. and yeah she told me n she told me yesterday that the same week we starting dating a few days before we got together she cut herself.. and now she doing all this cuz of me,, which I dont like.. I only say I would leave her cuz that's one of the things that she will hate is for me to leave her.. is a way to keep her straight

[Deleted Member]

Sigh... I don't see why you didn't choose to come and talk to me about how you were feeling. Katie, I don't drink to drown out my own sorrows. I drank at parties every night... I know, its still bad... I promised you I would stop drinking cuz you were afraid i'd become addicted. So I stopped. And as far as my past, I was dumb... I slipped a year ago and the only time ive done it before that was when i was 15. Amanda was right. its addicting. But its possible to come out of that phase... which i have. I love you with all my heart, katie. It saddens me to hear you didnt talk to me about how you were feeling. Your my lover and my best friend! I wish you would trust me, mi amor...

[Sammie_Parson]

Sure sounds like alot of control issues than communicating to me. If you love someone you wouldn't hurt yourself or that person to prove a point to say "I got you". I'm reading this all I keep seeing is control control control. You guys are arguing but not solving the root of the problem. But someone is taking advantage of the sitution in a negative way. Soon one of you is going to hate each other for the things thats been done to the relationship. I wonder how much she truly love herself to love you? Long distance relations are hard but it only works when there is trust and communication, Not guilt trips! Thats not how a healthy relationship grows. I hope you don't loss sight of yourself in the meantime don't give in to the madness. I see you got a big heart hate to hear it cracking like this! If this was a problem before you and it hasn't stop then it will be the same problem after its over if she doesn't get a grip on herself. So I hope she doesn't accept failure and just give up on herself. This is like russian roulette for a relationship.

[Deleted Member]

Look Chae I love you but I need some advise from strangers... All you do is tell me the same thing.. u say Katie plz lets not tlk bout this now.. that was my past I was stupid.. but yet u still do this shit.. Like I said M sorry.. but you dont listen unless I say stuffs that I wont do but u think ill do..

Sammie thats what I think.. and thats what I want her to understand that u dont do this to someone u love..