sick of getting hurt and cheated on... is me or them? - Love and Romance

[Lisa_Nguyen_58259]

hi.. i have notice that majority of my relationships i have been cheated on.. is me that has done something wrong for them to do it? or do i give them too much space and freedom?

[Sk****]

The same thing happened to me. No it's not your fault at all it's definatly them, regardless of what you may or may not have done, they make the choice to cheat. Space & freedom are essiensal in a relationship I think, so no unfortunatly it means you haven't found your 'one', for want of a better word.
You're not the only one sadly, we're all searching..... Good Luck though, hope you find someone who loves and respects you like you deserve...

[Jeanie_Baker]

It has nothing to do with space and trusting them. They are just cheats and you are recycling the same kind of person. Women who get ***d have it happen to them again and again because they have not changed their thinking. (This is just an example)
It has to do with how we feel about ourselves. Speak and act with confidence that you deserve to have someone special in your life and you will find that.
If we breed the negativity from bad relationships we are more prone to end back there because we have not broken the cycle. I have done and I am sure we all have done at one time or another and its because its what we have become comfortable with. We just need to step out of our box so to speak and look in and say why is that girl drawing in the type of person who is not honest?
Find someone who has similar likes possibly. You can tell a person is honest just by the way they think sometimes.So find the similarity in all these relationships which also may help you break the cycle. Also looking at yourself too with any habits others might find strange or repulsing. I am not saying your repulsive either just giving an example to study your self too.
Everyone has room for improvement right?
I have a great relationship with my daughter and we talk about my life as a gay person now and she loves gay people. I just found this out yesterday, but besides this she can be honest with me an my faults and we discuss our imperfections honestly and frankly without being hurt and it has helped me tremendously. So if you have a friend you can share things with who can be honest with you and you not get offended it is good to get an opinion from someone who knows you well to give you some thought.

[Ashley_Tyler]

Dude you can't turn a hoe into a house wife. THAT is your problem.

[Lisa_Nguyen_58259]

but i don't turn a hoe into a house wife... the woman that i've had dated tell me lies i guess... you know.. the whole im always been faithful and stuff like that... blah blah..

[Er****]

Anyone who tries to tell you they have always been faithful, etc. with no exceptions is either a saint or lying to you and themselves. Part of being a better person/lover/whatever is learning from your past mistakes....if you are not willing to admit that you've made mistakes in the past then you can't learn from them. Who can honestly say that they have been a perfect girlfriend to everyone they've dated?

[Deleted Member]

In the since that I've never cheated on any of my past lovers... me but I should have spent more time with them Anyways I have also been cheated on by two different people (both boys, this was when I was in denial about being a lesbian) and you have done nothing wrong sweetie its them thats at fault.

[Lisa_Nguyen_58259]

im not saying that i am a perfect girlfriend, yes i have learnt my mistakes from past relationships and life and love is always about learning about yourself and others that you date. i am myself! i guess im just too nice when it comes to getting into a relationship and having one.

[Penny_Proctor]

Try not to take it personal, there is nothing wrong with your love.
People who deceive love will always struggle to receive it. It is their loss and your gain.
You recognise the lesson They dont even realise there was one!

[Jeanie_Baker]

I have been good to all my women but I did cheat on my husband without him knowing with a woman but after the divorce with any of my relationships they all cheated on me. Pay back is a bitch they say so I have learned, treat people like you want to be treated and I have done that ever since and never cheated again.
If someone truly cares about me I will not cheat on them.

[Lisa_Nguyen_58259]

thanks a whole heaps for the advice and the support!!!

[Je****]

You know I can throw out the usual she's a whore and go on and on about how what she did was wrong. We already know what she did was wrong. I do not believe that cheating happens because the person is a hoe in every instance. I know a couple in which one partner kept telling the other to stay with her spend time with her be with her and the other person's response was to say that work was important because she wanted to buy her all these things. My friend continue to plead with her partner asking for the attention she so desperately needed. In the end, she sought that attention from a close friend. Their relationship survived the ordeal but I just wanted to put another twist to the cheating angle of relationships. My partner and I have made an agreement that if either of us ever felt like we were going to cheat, we would tell one another. Sounds crazy huh? Not really! If I feel I need to cheat something is not going right. We have been together for 8 years and at one point we did have that conversation and we decided to go to counseling and work out our issues. The storm has way since passed and we are whole again. I guess what I am trying to say is that too many people expect relationships to be so easy and all to often we found ourselves blaming everyone else for the bad things that happen in our life. Cheating is never the answer. If I was going to follow through with cheating on my partner, I would first attempt to talk to her about it and if it was pointless and nothing could be done about the situation, maybe it would be better to leave on good terms instead of making her look like a jackass in front of everyone else. Best of luck to you Lisa and don't give up, your sole mate is out there and when you find her, roll up your sleeves and get ready to do the real work it takes to keep a relationship together. I was in your shoes several times in my life and I know it is ***ful. Chin up

[Lisa_Nguyen_58259]

thanks jessica! im not giving up.. i know there is someone out there! time will heal and tell...

[Penny_Proctor]

So true Jessica, great wisdom there, great!