Turning into a bitter hag... Help!! - Love and Romance

[Sk****]

Since my break-up @ the start of August this year, I have become bitter about all the things i lost and frustrated because of accomadation issues and just plain defensive/angry. This is not normal 4 me, I'm usually optimistic and a dreamer. The break up itself i knew was coming so it didn't hurt and i am relieved to be outta there but the 5 years i wasted, the ***s i had to surrender the friends and things i've lost still make me mad.
I've been told to 'get over it' & 'you're in a better place now, be happy" But how does one do these things?
Any advice ppl? I promise not to chew anyone's head off, lol.

[Penny_Proctor]

Hey Skye, I feel for you it sux.
I am also going through a similar situation and find myself trying to start again after loosing just about everything.
I felt bitter and angry for along time but i realized that while i felt that way I was just prolonging the ***. All those things I lost reflected who I was in that relationship and I am not that person any more.
Try reflecting and find the things you did get out of that relationship ,see what you learnt and how much you grew, once you do that it will help.
There is a new person inside that is stronger and wiser and the things you lost didnt make you who you are but one day you'll have it all again!
You will get over it when your ready

[Kim_Evans_43954]

Time...all you can do is give it time. As we get older our fuses get shorter and things that didn't use to bug us last longer. concentrate on other things as often is possible. Take lots of time for yourself. Best of luck...

[To****]

Great wisdom Penny

Skye even though your break-up wasn't a death it was a loss that deserves a time of grieving just the same. Think of it like a soup you are making...only YOU know the ingredients that you need and the right amount of cooking time. Don't let anybody tell you that you should be over it and just move on...allow yourself to grieve...tears are healthy and cleansing.

Learn from this and make yourself stronger...you are a wonderful woman and working on you is going to make your next relationship all the better...find happiness and stability on your own two feet before you find comfort and happiness in a new set of arms where your heart can find a new home.

[Jeanie_Baker]

All major transitions do bring out the worst in us. I went through it last year.
Be patient with yourself. The friends you did have- if they are true friends you may be able to hook up with them in the future. Most of all be at peace with yourself and listen to the sounds around you. When I am going through hell or angry I stop and listen to the positive sounds of the world. Like birds, the wind, and look at the beauty around you. How the trees sway with the wind. Get a different perspective. Or write out the anger you feel and put it to bed. We all need time to move on but find a moments to reflect about positive things that have happened in your life. Also The relationship could not have been a total wash out if you were there for 5 years. Time with someone even if it ends bad is never a waste of time Skye. You learned things about life with that person and you learned what you do not want to and also have learned about mistakes along the way. Life is a learning experience and we all must eventually look and step out of the box so to speak and know who you are. Are you happy with yourself and the person you are? I am sure you are. Do not feel angry or feel like a fool. If you were sincere in your relationship then the other parties are the ones who need growing. You have grown and realize you will be ready sometime after your sorrow and anger have diminished. Take time to caress your soul and when you look at a flower see how it blossoms. Look at yourself like a flower waiting to blossom from your troubled thoughts and give yourself time to find peace but do not waste time either with negative thoughts as they can only keep you from moving in the right direction and breed more discontent.
One step at a time. I find when I go through a hardship writing down some things I should take care of in my life that I neglected when I was too busy with what I was doing before. When we find a new direction to go then it is easier to put the pieces in your mind together and put them to bed.
Good luck - Be happy - you deserve to be. May you have a very blessed holiday and find something important in your life to be involved with and things will eventually change for the better.

[Jeanie_Baker]

LIke Tonia said your heart will find a new home. I liked that Tonia.

[Penny_Proctor]

Yep everything Tonia and Jeanie said!
You know Skye when you get to that place and you ready to move on its so amazing and exciting discovering yourself all over again!

[Sk****]

I've been trying to make things work for 3 years And we have 2 kids together. Thank you all for your advice, much appreciated.
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all.

[Jeanie_Baker]

yes Penny I agree. It is a wonderful feeling when you get passed that hill and walk tall and don't look back cause there is only good things ahead.

[Jeanie_Baker]

Having two kids together is always more difficult. My son went through that and its is truly very hard. One thing though with having kids is that you must show your better side to show them a good example. My kids taught me that and they were my heroes during the difficult times.

[Jeanie_Baker]

Kids can be very intuitive and they see more than we give them credit for. Keep showing them love and you will get love in return.