Help / advice please - Love and Romance

[Deleted Member]

I split up from my girlfriend a few months back after she dumped me.

I'm still 100% utterly in love with her with all my heart, life, body, soul with everything I have with all that I am.
I would do anything and everything too be back with her, I'm close too cherishing the ground she stands on.

The problem is that no matter what I do, she knows how I feel about her, but no matter what I do she wont take me back.

Anyone have any ideas / suggestions too help / support me get over the woman who I owe my life, heart, soul, body and mind with?

I just wish that I could spend the rest of my life with her, share my love with her day and night, but she has said no.

Please could I have some help / suggestions / advice / ideas on how I can hopefully try move on?

Thank you

[Teri_Baker]

I am sorry to hear that the two of you have split up. It must be very hard at this point to understand what is going on. I know your heart feels pulled in that direction, but she has left you and sounds like she doesn't want to return to the relationship.You are going to have to take some time for you to get over her. I don't think getting into another relationship is an answer to the problem, but being with very supportive friends will be a great help. it is never easy get over a love, it is going to be ***ful, so get involved with other things, cry when you feel the need to cry. You are hurt. You need friends to talk all this out and feel good about yourself and get back to being you . Come back on here again and let some of the rage you might feel about some of the disappointment you may feel about the abrupt ending of your relationship and why it ended. There are so many things you didn't mention about why it did end and where did she go. I think you need some answers to these questions too. We are here to support you in anyway. I give you my support and love and i will be here for you. Hugs, Teri

[sa****]

i do agree with teri cry feel your *** accepte it u will be amazed at the strength u have in yourslf. now its time to know u and focus on u. i believe in dealing with my *** alone and thhen sharing with my friends and only a few, those that will not speak bad/ill of your ex, but will support and listen to u with an honesty ear. focus on u like they say its easier said then done it takes lots i mean plenty of slfdispline its more than a challenge but at the end it makes u stronger best of luck

[Teri_Baker]

I do agree that her friends shouldn't always be on the attack mode about her ex, but she has to let some of the anger out about how she must feel. There is some anger she will have to deal with at some point. Relationship separation is sad and sometimes we do get angry, so we could express that too.. But there is no sense in attacking the ex . On that, i agree. But she should take time with friends and take care of herself for a while.Hugs, Teri

[Jo****]

Kate,
I'm sorry to hear that you are hurtingso bad because of your ex. I know how you feel sweetie. I felt that way 6 yrs ago when I broke up with my ex. If i was still with her in march we would have celebrated 30 yrs together. I have had to learn to start over again, which isn't easy. if she knows how you feel about her and she still doesn't want you back, then you need to know that she has moved on and you need to do the same. if you just need a friend to talk to I'm here for you. I been where you are so I know exactly how you feel................. You will find someone who will love you the way, you loved and cared for your ex.

[Teri_Baker]

I understand how you just want to hold on, but she seems to have moved on from you at this point and it would only hurt you more to keep clinging to someone who isn't going to love you back the way you should be treated. Isn't that what a healthy relationship should be? Not one-sided but both of you loving each other. It will not always be 50/50 and don't expect it to be. We all have our off days, so some days you give or she'll give more. But you must let go and accept she left and is not returning your love. You are a loving person, don't waste it on someone who doesn't accept it. It is time to let go and cry that she doesn't want the relationship anymore. Sorry hun.

[Ja****]

hold on i wanna ask you all something has anyone stopped for a second to ask what really happened for her to dump kate, has anyone stopped to see if it was all kate's fault, am not blaming anyone here but i still stand on my previous comment b4 i deleted it you both should talk it over... try and see if u can resolve ur differences... its not abt player or no player something might be making her act that way, like i said b4 people express their emotions, (joy, sadness,***, excitement ) differently

[Teri_Baker]

It sounds like you had more of a physical relationship with her and that was all she wanted with you and she may have wanted or could do. She may not be that deep of a person to give you a meaningful relationship. I am sorry that you wanted more than what she was able to give. Did you ever ask her if she did want a long term relationship? Sometimes we have to ask our lover if they are into it for the long haul. You have to have these conversations in relationships to know your boundaries so you don't mistake what each want. or looking for and you know what to expect. I put my expections out there to see if we match. It helps to know if you have a future. Good luck. hugs, Teri

[Deleted Member]

thanks Teri, I guess she wanted more of the physical side compared too myself who thought / felt she was the girl for me.

She said a few things like she hates games / players / playing around, which I fully respect and agree with, she knew I loved her with all I've got, fairly sure she still knows that nothing has changed there. I guess yeah I just gotta face up, admit defeat that she thinks that she's better than me or of course she's looking for someone / something else. just wish I knew what I did wrong.

Branching off onto the next chapter of my life isn't easy in the least.

[Teri_Baker]

She is not better than you and don't go there!!! You are a wonderful person, full of love and desire and wanting to love another person. Her perception of it was not to be in a relationship but to have a physical relationship.You need to find someone more in tune to what you want in a relationship. She was not. Don't kick yourself for not finding out she didn't want the same thing.You are a lovable person and someone will find that wonderful part about you.Right now take some time to realize, yeah, I met the wrong person for me and I fell in love and it hurts. But she is just a stepping stone to find the most amazing woman and I am worthy of being loved. you are.I will be here if you need to talk. Hugs, Teri

[Jo****]

Kate,
You didn't do anything wrong, your ex sounds like my ex she's better than me. What I found out is that my ex was a major cheat the one thing she always accused me of doing. My only fault was I loved my ex with all i had too and in the end I was the one who was screwed over, If you ask me Kate you deserve better than your ex just like me. You will find the woman you were meant to be with, who will have you floating on there every word, who will worship and love you better than either one of our exes could ever do.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks Teri and Jodie. I know I need too get over her and like Teri said think of it like a stepping stone. Just not easy when if I admit it deep down, I'm still in love with her, but yeah I gotta pick myself up and the right woman will step into my life. Just not easy moving on.

[Deleted Member]

All sorted now - I think, thanks ladies xox

[Jo****]

You're Welcome Kate.

[Deleted Member]

Cheers :=))

[Ch****]

just like my old flame, my 1st. well, it sucks. but you have to move on. yeah, i know that you simply adore and love her but then you need to save a lil love for yourself. my guy friend advised that to me when she dumped me. it's pretty hard knowing that you're still feeling this way, and she, on the other hand, have a diff life and she doesnt want you to be in there. one day you'll wake up and you'll realize that she took a clean break by letting you go bec she doesn't deserve you at all.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks Carisse, It's getting easier. I now realise there is no longer anything there just old flames sometimes never die down or atleast struggle too. I just hope things will continue too get easier.
But big thanks.

[Ch****]

well, close to 10 yrs since my 1st flame dumped me and now, i'm happily committed with my wife for 5 yrs. so, things will eventually be in their rightful place/s in time...

[Deleted Member]

Thanks, just feels / felt like a constant up-hill struggle, but think it is beginning too level out a bit now, still have rocky road at times, but things are easing a bit now. Thanks :=)

[Jo****]

Kate,
the up hill struggle your feeling will get easier and before you know it they will be gone.

[Ch****]

oh, yeah...you can make it. one day, you'll realize it's finally over. :O