Can't seem to get over my ex... - Love and Romance

[Savannah_Johnson_61585]

Back in early 2011 I found out my girlfriend of 4 years (we were seperated for a few times but the seperation didnt ever last long) was cheating on me, not only was she sleeping with this other girl but she had a full relationship with her also. I dont think she would have told me about it if she could get away with it, I actually had to find out from someone else about the whole thing. I mean i did get the hints of it but i didnt have anything to base my suspision off of. Anyway after we broke up it was very hard for me and even now after all this time i still cant handle thinking about her or looking at old pictures. And after what she did to me and how things ended I tried so hard to hate her, or at least not care but i couldnt do it, she was my first love. But anyway, recently it seems like ive been thinking about her more often, I saw a picture of her yesterday with her current girlfriend and i was reduced to tears. I hate feeling like this, not being able to let go. A close friend told me i should talk to her try to explain how i feel, but if i do that and she doesnt still feel the same i would have opened up a box that should have stayed sealed tight for no reason. I guess im just looking for someone with more wisdon than me to give me some advice. I could really use it.

[D.****]

I felt like you at one point in my life. It took me 1 year to get to the point in which I love myself more than the little love I have left for her.

First, get rid of all the things you have of her or remind you of her. Pictures, clothes, gifts, etc. Erase her from your life. Have no communication what so ever.

Second, celebrate your progress. Don't beat yourself up if after 2 months (or a week) of not feeling depress you fall back again and cry over her. There is no determined time to get over someone. Everyone is different. It can take you 6 months, or 2 years. Just remember to give yourself enough time.

Third, widen your world. Sometimes we are stuck in our tiny little world... work and home, or school and home. Go out, go to a bar one night (not to get wasted) go to the movies, hang with friends, park, bike rides, take a class, join a book club. Whatever it is you need to do so that your world widens. This way you are not thinking of her, your mind will be busy. You will realize that the world has kept going... you are behind... suffering over someone who has kept going, it's time you start catching up.

Start loving yourself.
Realize why you felt the way you felt with her (or with the break up)
and realize why you no longer need to feel that way.

[Savannah_Johnson_61585]

Thank you so much for the feedback.

[Sandy_Faiad]

@savannah, was your girlfriend a les femme? or a butch?
please tell me!

[Savannah_Johnson_61585]

femme at first but now shes more butch

[Sandy_Faiad]

@savannah, and you are a femme or a butch? excuse my questions please!

[Savannah_Johnson_61585]

haha its fine, and im femme

[Manda_Jillian]

D.M Barrera is absolutely right savannah! Dont go back. Just keep moving forward!! Time heals everything and you WILL get past her! Shes missing out and your finding better! :-)

[sa****]

sorry if i sound harsh, rude r disrepectful but trying to b real the *** will be there it goes and comes does it mean look bac no not at all. it's your heart feels so betrayed, disrespected but it's really to me the trust that u put in the two of u and her, believe me when that trust is damaged like that u will never stop wondering if or when, but if there's still belief then u gota belief in u 1st. it's going to be a hard road but u gota c that u made it through another day. it will get easier but never forgotton somedays the *** is more than other days, but never will it be as ***ful as the 1st day of u actual finding out, u made it through that and other days after, so accepte your strength and try not to give her that much control over your heart/happiness because though u may want it she's not with u right now take your ownership from u for u

[Bobbye_L._Webb]

I agree with both Evette and Dm. In short, I believe what they are both saying is take your power back! Be in control of you again. Will you hurt? Sure and maybe for a long time, but don't let your *** or her betrayal of you define who you are. Good luck sweetie.