I don't want to change myself to find a women - Love and Romance

[Bobbi_Warren]

I'm a very girly girl. I love to shop, wear make up and look nice. I go to a gay club every friday and still have yet to meet a woman there. Is it the way I dress or present myself? any advice?

[Victoria_Treadaway]

How do you present yourself? Are you very open and outgoing?
Do you do anything different at the club that you dont do anywhere else?
Do you act a certain way?

[Lea_Walby]

if you don't want to change yourself than simply don't, besides picking people up at clubs doesn't really work out well in the end. but than again it depends on if you want long term, short term, want someone to be the one picking you out of the crowd, or if you wanna be the picking. There's always these odd little need ta knows.
But i just go with the be yourself way and if no one picks ya out, they not worth it, because they haven't gotten the time to look at someone as beautiful as you.

[Kira_Ader]

I find we femmes tend to have a harder time of it than some of the more androgynous and butch looking lesbians do because we just don't look 'gay'. I can't tell you the number of times I've come out to someone and they've been like, "Really?! You look straight!"

And they were lesbians!

So don't feel too bad or get discouraged. Lea's right - you probably won't find a long-term relationship in clubs. You'll either find her because you sought her out online, or you meet her through some organization or club (of the non-dancing sort) or through a friend of a friend.

[Lea_Walby]

*looks at her own pic and wimpers* i'm not femme....but people don't always believe i'm a les till i point out the finner details of a womans bode.

[Lea_Walby]

Thanks for the back up though Kira ^.^

[Tania_Lake]

I can remember the first time I went to a lesbians disco in a dress. The DJ, typically dressed in the dungareess etc: asked me what the hell I was doing in a lesbian club. Problem is our minority is as bad as society, in that we continue to judge others, but expect others to support us. How can we do that when we don't even get acceptance from our own "***s". Keep going with the makeup and girly stuff. Anyone who expects you to change or conform to the "norm", whatever the hell that is, just isn't worth it.

[Sammie_Parson]

The moment you change yourself to please others is the moment you start living a lie and worst actually believing your lie is the truth! So don't change for no one but yourself only. If they don't like you because of your appearance then maybe their missing out the chance to really get to know you or they are haters (lol)! Don't let them make you start doubting yourself you hold your head up and brush those haters off! Continue to be your girly self (smile) cause that's who you are!

[Deleted Member]

i like girly girls, but it kind of sucks because i don't think most femmes go for feminine girls? although i'm kind of in between? so i don't really know how to act to get the girl? idk that's a different topic lol
point is Bobbi your adorable and i'd totally date you lol

[Ja****]

When I first went to outright or wildstein everyone though I was straight. I love femme women, Iv had a few relationships, it just takes time iv noticed. Sitting around doesn't help, if you get out there and do new things you meet new people. That's how iv found some relationships. A random decision one night to go out.
Although It does help to have confidence when approaching a woman.

[Lea_Walby]

I agree with Tania, i once read on FML (F*** my life, web site about ppls f-ed moments) A woman was stareing at a les couple, one of them went up to her and yelled at her for it, the woman was only stareing cause she thought they were hot.
I've had these moments myself, and it kind of sucks, especaily when you don't get a chance to meet a lot of women cause your stuck in crapy small towns so you don't get to really explore a lot of things.
I also agree with Sammie. Being someone else isn't you.
And stephanie, i starting flirting with her first :P

[Libby_Horning]

It really comes down to would you rather find someone who loves you for you or who they think you are? I'm a when it suits girl in what I wear sometimes I'll hit the stereotypical lesbian thing but other's yeah i'll go femme. Either way though I' am who I am and I make no apologies for it. I like femme anyway that never changes and I don't know when a lot of us just stopped relying on the 'gaydar' but I know I still do. Don't worry about whether the girls at the clubs hit on you because in my experience you're better off if they don't sometimes.

[Br****]

I don't change myself for people it's my own doing. I won't change for someone no matter what and neither should you. Just be yourself, you'll find someone who will love you for you.

[Miranda_Jean_Renee_Hall]

I'm a girly girl and all of my g/f liked that about me i like to be dotted on i guess. Trying to change yourself for someone never works trust me. It just makes you feel like you're not good enough and makes you insecure. My girl now loves me just the way i am and doesn't want me to change thats how I know she's the one!! Those who really love you won't make you change!!

[Lea_Walby]

So Bobbi any of this help? I think we all here give you support to keep you as you, so what ya think sweets?

[Ka****]

i don't think that you should change yourself at all.
you should be able to find a person who likes you for what you really are not something your pretending to be.
i don't know how well the clubs are for meeting giels but good luck.
and as far as your apperance just dress however you are comphortable. :]

[Deleted Member]

I agree with all of these comments but I'm a girly girl also, I've been described as an ultrafeminine woman, dainty, I like those, but also called a "pillow princess" which I don't like bcuz they just lay on their back, but I hate that bcuz I love 2 make sure my lover is satisfied in or out of the bedroom so I can relate 2u bobbi. But if u can't find some1 that loves u unconditionally, u don't need em girl, that's y I'm single cuz I no I got flaws, I'm looking 4 the ultiamte woman who'll give me that unconditional love. And oh yeah I'm gone get that... u no y? Cuz I no I deserve it. Don't brush them haters, slap em off, they hatin... not on u but on the fact that they no they're not good enough 4u. BABY GIRL. Don't worry. I'm startin 2 feel I want a femme now 2. Studs ain't workin 4 me. U go girl

[Lea_Walby]

yeah stud earings can be a *** sometimes, you forget ya have 'em in and than when your sleeping you rub your head against the pillow and it gets caught on a loose thread and ow