What do y'all think??? - Love and Romance

[Kelsey_Jane_Blackwell-Klenke]

Okay so this is my first discussion on here y'all so please don't judge. I'm Kelsey Jane Blackwell-Klenke, I'm bi and idk what to do here so some help would be wonderful y'all. So I have this dear friend Joseph who is in the Navy and wants to marry me; I have known him since I was seven year old and we grew up together. I love him with all my heart, but I really don't know if I should accept his proposal. Y'all have to understand that my life is made to make people happy. For the full17 years of my life I have been livin' to make everyone happy...my six ***s, and my seven brothers, even my parents. I have always done what is best for them and has made them happy....but now everyone is happy and grown up or even retired and now at the age of 17 I'm finally faced with the question of what do I really want in my life.....what makes me happy. I love people and I love Joseph....but y'all idk what to do here this is a man who loves me and yet I'm just wondering if I accept him or should I just live my life to the fullest?!?! Idk whether to have fun and make many people happy by being their friend/lover/whateve or to make one person happy for the rest of his life y'all. In the end both ideas make me happy and idk which one to choose. What do y'all think I should do????

[Libby_Horning]

Okay you've got to think about what would make you happy. I understand that you love Joseph but are you in love with him. The easiest questions to ask are often the hardest to answer. Sometimes what's right for you isn't right for the people around you, you may end breaking hearts and that heart maybe yours. The way I see it is people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. I can't say you're only 17 because age is just a number and I got engaged at 15 but I can tel you that sometimes it's better to wait.

[Sammie_Parson]

You should really figure out what you want for yourself, I read that you made everyone happy but yourself. Do you even know what you are about? You should really take time to find out who you are before making any big decision like that! Or your going to regret not getting the chance to do what you wanna do. Live for yourself first before pleasing others, some people will just expect that you have no opinion of yourself therefore making it feel like your opinion doesn't really matter when you do speak for yourself.
Your too young anyway to want to slow down when you barely begun to live. You remind me of a friend of mines who's like that and still is. It's like she never left the neighborhood to expand her horizons or experiences in life. She's become a homebody afraid to leave cause she let others allow her not to grow because she wanted to keep them happy well they left her stunted like that, we don't talk anymore cause im living and she's not. Yeah she got a family but the question is did she really wanted that lifestyle cause she sure doesn't look happy everytime i get a chance to see her. Now she can't leave at all stuck in a life that's not even hers to begin with. Live your life, make you happy, find out what you about and have fun in your 20's this ain't the 1950's live in the now cause your not going to get a opportunity to be free like this again,

[Kelsey_Jane_Blackwell-Klenke]

thanks guys I will keep that in mind

[Mi****]

i lived my life to make people happy and i still do. I feel in love with the woman that i am with now and to this day i do things for her and do my best to keep my mouth shut to make her happy. We have been committed for 5 years and together for 10. I have recently been given the opportunity to see me as a woman with no other roles but me and have found that i have nothing to show. just an FYI

[Sammie_Parson]

So are you satisfy with the fact you have nothing to show or that you haven't live up to your full potential like you should have? Either way that's sounds unfulling to me, I glad that I have someone who understands that I need and love expressing myself cause that what makes me happy to make others happy! But its never too late!

[Mi****]

Yes I found that I suck. lol I find my self uninteresting to say the least. I have a degree in accounting I can knock down a wall in a kitchen and put it back up. I can cook a bad ass meal, if you like mojitos i make the sugar syrup from scratch. But I can please me. dont know how. very depressing and called for a bottle of wine

[Kelsey_Jane_Blackwell-Klenke]

I know the feeling I can ***t and sing and even play some instruments....I am great at cookin and takin care of my family but Idk how to please myself....I know who I am I just don't know what will make me truely happy

[Deleted Member]

Also, myself I am a people pleaser... I would think you have gotten the speach to... "you can't make everyone happy... for every person you make happy, you make someone mad." Through my short years, I have found this very true. Well... to my point.... The way I look at your only a *** for so long. Then you have the rest of your life (yes we don't know how long we will be here.) Quick question... how long have you two been serious? If you ask me I have never heard of anything saying you can be a very close friend for to long... If he really loves you he can be your boyfriend ect. for as long as you are ready because dear from the sounds of it, your not so sure yourself. Marriage is a big thing. I am not sitting here and telling you not to say yes... I am telling you what I think..

p.s. sorry my a.d.d. is really bad tonight.

[Sarah_Cartwright]

OKAY TO BE HONEST
People should have gut instincts about things
Now, i see that you love and care for this man a whole lot. But if youre having doubts about marrying this man, more than likely it isnt the right thing to do. Because if it WERE the right thing to do. You would know right away and want to marry him and let everyone know just how right you feel about the decision. But if youre second guessing yourself then you probably have this longing in the back of your head and heart telling you to go experience different things and new things and truely find out what will make you happy and fulfill you.
Dont do what others want, this is about YOU and what you want and need. Maybe in the end this man will be the one you need, but it seemslike you wont know until you experience other things.
I was with a woman for three years and we talked of marriage and all that and she wanted to be with me for the rest of my life and i found i was second guessing it all and having doubts and we broke up and in the end i found another woman who ive fallen so much inlove with ive never felt this way and you just know when its right and when its meant to be. So it hink when it is right you will know with all your heart and mind that marrying them is the right decision.

Thats just my opinion anyway
good luck with it all!

[Allison_Alvarez]

i kinda skipped everyones advice to u ( i didnt read them! sorry! ) i think that if u are not sure then its not for u. when something is "right" you wont doubt it. right? besides take this from an old ass fart like me! ( im 24 ) your way too young. you need to just enjoy yourself! i wish i could!!!!! lol

[Kelsey_Jane_Blackwell-Klenke]

Well like I said I have known him since I was 7yrs old, but we have only been serious for 4 of the ten years I have known him. He is an amazing man and he makes me happy to an extent but I just don't know what to say to him. If I say no he might get hurt, but if I say yes that means that I am saying yes to so many things. He is in the Navy and stationed in Guam so if I say yes I would be starting a family thousands of miles away from my home, my friends, and my family and if I say no I am missing out on an adventure. So in the end it is just so hard to choose. And I have had the "you can't make everyone happy" speech. I hate that speech....I understand that in some ways I might make some people mad sometime but if they are true friends or whatever they eventually get over it and be happy as well. but that is just my opinion.