yvaughn Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I once spent months devistated about a breakup. Crying myself to sleep, crying all the way to work, putting on a brave face during the day, and crying all the way home, and then calling him to ask "Why?" (One more time), pleading for another chance - or yelling at him for hurting me, or sending him Poetry by email... I almost felt like a crazy man. I almost could have been considered a stalker. I just couldn't deal with it. I did not know how. I hadn't had my heart broken by someone I loved before. I didn't expect it to happen. Why did he leave me for that person? I hadn't done anything wrong. How could he do this to me? I have learned so much since then. My attitude towards breakups is so much different now. You could say I even have a 'Breakup Recovery Plan'. I don't anticipate a breakup, but if it happens I am organised. I never again want to spend months of my life, my time, crying over someone who does not want to give me the love I deserve. Someone who's choosing to miss out on all the good things I have to offer. Someone who is not going to be a part of my future. The truth is, ex boyfriends usually come back when left to their own devices; and say they made a mistake - no matter what the reason for the breakup is. So, no attempts to clarify things or beg for him for another chance is neccessary... It's not easy to take back someone who hurt you though. I choose to move forward. And I know how to do it in two weeks! It's quite a simple relationship recovery plan. After he's ended the relationship I speak to him and try to tell him exactly how I feel so that I don't have to speak to him again. I do this as soon as possible because it makes ME feel better. You cannot do this via text message, there is not enough charactors, but you can write it in a single email if he will not talk to you. I am not worried if I hurt his feelings with what I say and I decide that's the last contact I will have with him. I am confident now he knows how I feel about his actions, and that gives me some peace of mind. I leave him to think about what I've said, but only if he wants to, I don't really mind, it's about me having the opportunity to work quickly towards closure. I am very unlikely to answer the phone if he calls me after this, I am already in the process of moving forward. Next, I give myself a time-frame for the amount of my time I'm going to allow myself to waste getting over him. I choose two weeks at most. I make a deal with myself that at the end of the two weeks, I won't waste my days or nights thinking about the dead relationship. I know life is fun and beautiful and I don't want to be sad about him hurting me for any longer than this. During the two weeks, I allow myself to mope around and be as sad as I want. I might read online articles or books about relationships - trying to learn something that might make me feel better. I might also speak at length about him to a frind. I'll listen to sad songs and allow myself to cry. I'll go through my photo albums looking at him, thinking of all the good times that are not going to be any more. Then, at the end of the two weeks I decide that it's been long enough (To be unhappy) and I remove all the evidence that the relationship existed. It helps me move forward. I will delete his mobile number from my phone. I delete him (And his family and friends) from my Facebook Friends list. This is a clean break. I put the photos of me with him in the trash - he didni't come through for me in the end. I do whatever I need to do so that I don't come back to thinking about him again. But even if I do, I am quick to remember he's not worth my time any more - I've already spent two whole weeks getting over him, it's in the past now. With the two weeks over, I feel more positive about the future. I decide to treat myself. I feel empowered that I've had some control over the end of the relationship.MOVING ON........ Best Wishes!!!!!
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