Deleted Member Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 if I could only find that special someone, especially considering the fact we never know what's going to happen in our world tomorrow
Mark_Cutler Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 very true Billy. I'm still looking for that special someone, instead of the A-typical men at bars looking for a one-night-stand.
Deleted Member Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 I assume that EVERY GAY MAN wants the same!!! Just find the Mr Right!!!
St**** Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 sometimes we look for something we want so bad.. we only blind ourselves more and more.. sometimes you cannot find love but wait for it to find you.. a relationship whether it is dealing with a friend or someone who you believe might be more than a friend needs communication and honesty.. if you are afraid of being rejected you should not be afraid to be alone.. it might hurt to find out that someone you like does not like you back the same way you like them but in my opinion i would rather know up front then tell myself to wait because maybe he will turn around.. if you know where you stand with someone the less of a chance you can get hurt.. and sometimes when you like someone more than they like you, you have to learn to let them go until you understand that friends is all you were ever be.. as harsh as that may seem..
Ge**** Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I think most gay men are not looking for that special someone, as harsh as that may be. The majority doesn't think that it is something that can last a life time, so why set yourself up to be hurt. I myself am one of the few. I have experienced 3 LTR's and know that real love exists for everyone! I have also learned that when I search for such things they never happen. True love is easiest to get when you are being yourself and not on a mission. The best advise to those who want love is to not be depressed and enjoy life as much as you can. This is because a happy and adjusted person is much more likely to attract a lover than someone that is hunting or in a rush to get it!
Deleted Member Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 To receive love, I believe that one must fully understand the concept of love. As a christian, I know that love comes from God. Love means to look at others without judgement. To love, means to forgive. Love must be within. Love is a form of energy than can be generated by one person and received by another. Love yourself first, then love your community, love your enemies. Send love to receive love.
Ro**** Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 thanks Stephen and George you have given me a lot to think about! I will take it under advisement , I think I just need a nudge in right direction?
Deleted Member Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 Maybe i should jsut open up more, and see wat happens. Overall is this wat you guys have said
Scott_Marxman Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Im looking for a guy that is sweet, cute, funny, and loves to try new things. But i dont want a guy that wants to call me every day. That really bugs me lol. I dont want a guy that has the perfect body.... But that would be great to . I need a guy that I will feel safe with and i want a guy that dont think so much of how they look. I hate it when guys call themself FAT! when they are not fat at all. I want a guy that dont live to far away. AND THATS WHAT I WANT IN A GUY
Deleted Member Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 After saying good bye to my soul mate in 1994 (GOD came for him) and (my first LTR) then meeting my 2nd LTR and that ending, I've plumb given up (sorta) on meeting another down to earth man. I refuse to look for looking never gets you anywhere, but lost! The next man must not be a mirror freak, doesn't think he's fat and is not a constant complainer. Good hygiene is a must and posses good communication habits! He must be open minded, adventurous and can cook, not just in the kitchen! I guess when I was younger, my expectations were kind of low. Now that I'm slightly older, I've gotten quite picky. My expectations are much more mature. But, with each corner I turn, new faces will appear. Eventually, one will stand out the most, in this vast sea of men. I know what I like and with that being said, if this "man" is going to share my life, we'll both have to be comfortable, with each other, if not, there is no sense in getting hurt in the long run.
Deleted Member Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 Thomas, I found your remark about looking for Mr. Right. This is a very old cliché. There is no such thing as a Mr. Right. Most oftenly, you'll encounter a Mr. Right-Away. The trick here is (and not a one night stand), is to not look, for looking leads to disappointments and false hope. When the time is right, listen to your heart. Real love will blossom when you least expect it. I have read many words of wisdom from those who've posted on this topic. You're still young and you have a whole sea of choices. I don't want a Mr. Right. I just want a man who can love me, unconditionally.
Ge**** Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 Yes, I have alway found that when I went out looking, I wound up more alone and dissapointed, and when I went out to have a great time someone wanted to share that with me! Just the hunt itself is self defeating. Live life to the fullest, enjoy every minute that you can, and love will crall up and bite you in the ass. Just hope it doesn't bite too hard! LOL -- all jokes aside, I really find this to be true!
Deleted Member Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 " I just want a man to love me unconditionally." Wow mate thats asking for alot you know? Unconditional love is a very rare thing in my experience. In fact Ive only known it from my Mother my whole life. Conditions are normal but hardly ever spoken out loud, we find out we've stepped beyond them when its suddenly over & we are left to work out what condition of that particular love affair we broke! I mean you could meet a guy & fall in love & think he loves you unconditionally, but then you hit a psychological brick wall & fall into a bout of intense depression &/or addiction. You lose your job & end up living on the streets or in a hostel somewhere & the guy who loves you? He starts calling less & less, wanting you less & less, being embarrassed he was ever seen with you. You know what I mean? No? Then lucky ole you, hope it stays that way, but for me love is always conditional whatever folk may say at the time. If it isn't then it's foolish & naive in the extreme.
Deleted Member Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 Speaking from experiance, Alan? I know what uncondtional love is. I also know how it feels to lose the one you love 110% and there was nothing within my own powers to keep him on this planet! He died 2 weeks before his 32nd birthday! He was my soul mate, my #1 etc. The gaping hole that was left in my heart, did in fact, create insumountable (spelling) complications in my life, that I sought out councelling. *** was a thought. It's really hard to describe the feeling one has, after loosing someone you loved unconditionally and it was returned 10 fold. We never cheated on each other. We would comment on other men, together. We never brought a 3rd into our sexual exploits. We were the ultimate couple. Our single friends stated that we oozed love. You could see it. My 2nd partner was not really the unconditional type. He had wondering eyes, the urge to explore others. Eventually, I ended it. I'd rather be single and patiently wait for, someone who's into me and not every Tom, Dick or Harry; seperately or all together. Relationships take work, time and most of all commnunication. Without them, why bother, for eventually, someone will get hurt. I know what uncontionally means and how it feels. There is no subsitutions. I'm slightly to old for puppy love or it feels like love. You just know. I know the battles one must endure, mind over matter? Listen to your heart, for only your heart will tell you the truth. But for now, I'll remain single and eventually, love will find me and yes George, I hope it has a good bite and it holds on! =)
Deleted Member Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Bless you Krystoffer! My heart goes out to you for your loss & I do hope that some day you are blessed with unconditional love again. As for me, my experience can be summed up thus: Better never to expect too much, then you don't get dissapointed! but hey, thats just me & i'm a broken hearted cynic so don't listen to me eh? xx
Deleted Member Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 My first, we spotted each other from across a crowded bar. Those around us, knew something was up. We shared the exact same glow. From that point, we were in-separable. Sadly and due to health complications, GOD came calling for him and he willingly went. No more ***, no more suffering, peace at last. As for my 2nd, it was just time to let him go. We had different views and different plans. We just fell out of love. We're better off as just friends. I'm beyond looking. I'm not expecting much these days. Whatever happens, will happen for a reason. There's nothing wrong with being a cynic. I've learned to listen to my heart, for it never lies to me. When the time is right, I'll know. But for now, I'm content to sit on the side lines and observing. You can learn a lot simply buy just watching (unless it's one of those looks, which may be taken as cruising :P ).
Mark_Cutler Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I've never heard of a look referred to as cruising before. That's interesting to know.
Donald_Polk Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 Mark I am shocked you do not know a cruising look! Even most straight men know when they are on the receiving end of one of those looks from a gay or bi guy. That look makes some of them very angry and want to smash your face in and some of them are ready to give you what you are looking for when you give them one of those looks. I have had more luck with the cruising look out on the street in public than I have ever had in a bar! I usually end up with a slightly bent straight guy or a bisexual guy who only wants sex but sometimes that is better than being alone.
Deleted Member Posted June 28, 2010 Author Posted June 28, 2010 Personally, looking for that special someone never happens in most ways we wish it to...to look into their eyes, them into ours, to feel their touch, taste their lips, hear their voice every morning and night. Love is a funny thing, my first serious relationship was when i was 13 - yes i know alot say thats too young. But we stayed together until i was 16. He passed away due to a car incident. That has put me off looking for my man in life. Looking for love i don't believe in, i believe love comes to you...just like happiness. You can't look for it and have it, it will come to you at the right time when it is most needed. Some say i am wierd for thinking that.
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 I don't think that's wierd at all Taylor. In fact I think you have a good point, but it never hurts to do a bit of looking though hey? How's that line go? The future is like a cake, until you eat it what do you really know?
Deleted Member Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 Taylor, ironically, after thinking about it, my very first was when I was 13yrs old. He was much, much older and most definitely, we kept our relationship, under lock and key. He was my mentor, my teacher and yes, my lover. He guided me and at the sweet age of only 17, let me go out into the world, to explore and find myself. He taught me what I needed to know. To this day, my taste for men or certain types of men, still hold true. I'm thankful for his teachings, for it's made me the person, I am today. I don't believe in searching for Love. Let love find you. Happiness is a daily thing. Many things in ones life, will make them happy. A warm day. Good news. Your GST cheque etc. Life in general would make the average person, happy. Patience is a virtue for good things come to those who wait and if time is all we have, then waiting ain't so bad. Alan, my 2nd partner, I gave him his cake... the whole thing, since that is what he wanted. If variety is the spice of life, I gave him his own spice shop. I just removed mine, since to him, it was out dated and stale. Eventually, someone will pick it up again... in time. My ex enjoyed the Candy Shop of men. His sampling got to be slightly annoying and ***fully obvious. I still do love him, but not in a way that most couples would. We have remained as friends since we do have a lengthy history and while he's still sampling, I'm patiently waiting for something more satisfying. My own spice is by far, not stale. Donald, some people just haven't fine tuned their Gaydar. A look can mean many things. A cruising look is slightly hard not to notice. I guess when you're prone to using it, you do! I've had better luck with str8 curious and bi curious men. If they're interested, my standing rule pertaining to those who are curious, they must make the first move. This way, I'm not the one who instigates anything. Call it a safety blanket. I find that I've had better sex with them, since most (not all) gay guys are to fussy. Relax boys, it's just sex. The "NSA" (no strings attached) or if you go by the 4 "F"s, tend to work. Eventually and over time, a gay man's or woman's Gaydar, will kick in. It's a feeling. A hunch and at times, pays off.
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