WHAT TO DO? - Love and Romance

[Amanda_Heikkila]

I just came out to my family less then a year ago and they say they dont mind but they give me this weird look everytime i talk about a girl or try to get their advice. They make me feel like Im alone. I know they mean well but i dont like them walking on egg shells around me. I know they love me and what me to be happy but they are acting like this is some faze or something. I mean I know it was a shock for them Ive been pretending to be straight for 20 years and Im tired of acting like something Im not. I dont wanna live a lie anymore its tiring and I wanna be happy with someone but I dont know what to do or say to them. Sometimes I feel like screaming. I still havent told all my friends only a handful that I see all the time. Im terrified to tell all my straight friends. I just dont want anyone to look at me differently or start acting strange around me like my family is doing. And i havent told any of my guy friends im afraid they will go all preverted and I really cant handle that right now. But I feel like shouting from the roof tops that I like females and that there is nothing wrong with it. Im so happy to finally coming out and I feel like im letting everything mess it all up. Does anyone have any advice?

[Deleted Member]

You are lucky that they didnt try to send you to see a psychiatrist. mine did. Or throw you out the door. Your families way of dealiing with it is to deny it. They dont want to believe their daughter is one of those ppl. You have to develop a new kind of family for that kind of support for acceptance of your lifestyle and not to rely on your family for that kind of support. you could try pflag. It is for parents and freinds of gays and lesbians. Its a support group in diffferent areas. You can rely on friends. I will be a support when you need it. My family never changed. Deny is what they are good at, they couldnt accept me as I am evern if I am happy this way. Be happy you found yourself and ppl who do accept you. Find love and be happy. Make your own family if acceotance.

[Amanda_Heikkila]

Yea I might try the support group it sounds something worth trying. I mean I know my family loves me and only wants me to be happy. I know it was a complete shock to hear that I like girls. But i've always believed that they will come around. My bff is lesbian and they dont mind they actually really like her but they think differently with me and it hurts a bit. At first I thought giving them space who help but it seems to just not go anywhere. they believe its a faze because im not dating anyone right now seriously and when I tell them that im still working on me they just srug it off like oooh she is just experimenting and its not like that i havent meet her yet and I dont wanna rush into a relationship with just any body.

[Deleted Member]

No matter what we are your family. We are all lesbian in here with pretty much some of the same problems. I have just been around a lot more and have worked some hot lines in Virginia and I have some ppl write to me on here as friends and I try very hard to get back to them. So if you want to have me as a friend to confide in, I will do my level best to be there for you. Please try pflag. try to see if your area has a gay information line and ask for some gay coounseling. Dont leave any avenues unturned. You lost some support, but gained some new freedom and some new supports.

[Bobbie_Jo_Conner]

hi hun I know its like that at my house. I was so scared to come out and tell everyone that i was gay. I wanted people to see that its just a part of me. I have been out for a little of two years now everyone nows and its a little better. I told my mom and everyone that i didnt expect them to acept it but i did expect them to love me. Its tooken awhile for my mom to get used to it. But they are getting better they dont like it wehen I talk about grils either. And most times when I need adivce I have to ask my friends. Honeslty its tuff because I need there adivce for alot of things at frist they wouldnt but now they will. So sweetie I know its hard but things do get better it just takes times. And as far as friends if they are your real friends they will love you regardless. And if the guys say something out of line just tell them u dont appirecated it. Hun if you need anyone to talk to am here I hope you have a great day and safe week!!!!!

[Deleted Member]

the ppl have spoken to you and they are telling you what has happened to them. I can adopt you as my unofficial lesbian daughter and then you can have a mother that does accept you as you are and can tell me all the things you would want to tell you real mom. I can do that for you I have some unofficial gay children in this world and am proud of them. Be proud.

[Amanda_Heikkila]

Thanks I dont really have a relationship with my mother. We bearly speak to each other she only comes around because my *** is pregnant and just to give me a hard time about when im finally gonna settle down.

[Amanda_Heikkila]

Bobbie thanks for that and yea i believe it will get better. Its just frustrating to wait for it to happen. I believe most of my family will eventually come around. I just wish it wasnt such a huge issue. I dont feel like it should be such a big deal. To me it feels normal and ive never felt that way before in my life and im already happy about coming out I just wish they were happy for me.