is it really hard to find perfect man? - Looking for LOVE!!!

[Deleted Member]

25, not too old, lol, i like being relationship, the feeling is really good when u have someone u really care about. friends said that i m still too young to think about serious stuff, but i dont care. u never know who is waiting for u somewhere out there. and i really wanna find my Mr. Right. I tried and still looking for.

[Donald_Polk]

Thats the problem everyone is looking for the perfect man! The perfect man does not exhist. You just have to find a man whos' flaws you can tolerate and live with. If you can not tolerate a man with flaws you will be by yourself for the rest of your life and looking for that perfect man! Thats why guys drop the one they have because they think the perfect one is just around the next corner instead of working on learning to love the man they have.

[Deleted Member]

i know what u mean, that why i said perfect man for me, he would be my perfect man, i could accept all his flaws, and he should accept mine as well.

[Terry_Neary]

Donald said it right "The perfect man does not exhist!!!!!" The problem that I have is that they are bisexual!!!!!!! I one boyfriend that I thought was gay untill I came home from work and he was doing a woman in our bed. Well that was the end of that realtionship in a big rush. It does'nt matter whats on the out side its whats in the heart. I am far from perfect.

[Deleted Member]

Hey, so I've got a question for you guys. Do any of you hold a vision of how you would like your partner to be? As in attributes, physical and otherwise, character etc? Or do you just sort of see what comes?

[Deleted Member]

Of course I have thought about what I would like my partner to be. I have a list in my head of character traits that I feel are important. I also have a list of physical traits, but I am not as strict to follow this list. I am hoping that I can find someone who has some of these traits and makes me happy. However, I am also ok with just letting things evolve.

[Deleted Member]

Yeah I guess I feel pretty much the same way Ryan. I've been trying to find a balance between having a "list" and "letting things evolve" and I was curious as to how other people might approach this.

Taking either extreme is not the way to go I've been told

[Deleted Member]

I do not want my list to restrict me from being with someone. Some people say that my standards are too high. I just don't want to settle for someone. By doing that I am not really being fair to my boyfriend. Seeing how I have never had a boyfriend just shows that I have not figured things out yet. I am trying.

[Deleted Member]

of course there is list, but if u always follow it, u would find nothing out there. put the list in ur fantasy world.

[Deleted Member]

Everyone has a list and everyone uses it, but obviously those more successful at finding a LTR just use it as a rough guideline, not a strict list of requirements. I think young people tend to be more idealistic, then as they get older and reality sinks in they start to relax it.
My list, if we're sharing, has never had too many particulars, it's just been who turns me on ...but if I had to define my 'type', it would include:
1) close to my age; more leeway on the younger extreme,
2) close to my own size - athletic would be nice, but at least 'average'
3) White, Latino or Black (again, not strict - just a preference! I'm not a racist! I'm learning to broaden my horizons... That's another topic I'd like to hear people's thoughts on)
4) Easygoing, non-judgmental, no attitude - has to tolerate my idiosyncrasies and shortcomings of course. Sweet and caring is far better than hipster or macho.
5) should not be too footloose / rootless / can't stay in one place for too long -type.
6) Prefer fluent English - communication is important!
DOESN'T need to be rich or 'successful' or 'outgoing'.
The rest is undefinable.. or I won't know it till I see it.
What about you all?

[Deleted Member]

Well that turned out a lot longer than I thought it would!

[Deleted Member]

I forgot to add
7) Agnostic!

[Deleted Member]

Re: Racial "types" - I don't think that's being racist at all. Fact is some physical types turn us on and some simply don't.

For me, it's mainly Caucasian and Asian but having said that I've surprised myself once or twice. On those occasions, well I couldn't say exactly what it was.

[Deleted Member]

Exactly, I hear you, I've been surprised a few times too. I still wonder if I shouldn't have included that one at all, it's just a preference (with them exceptions), the others are more like requirements.

[Deleted Member]

Maybe we should all write 2 separate lists: 1) What tends to turn me on, and 2) What are my requirements for a long term relationship? They might contain unrelated things.

[Deleted Member]

Not a bad idea. I think more than the list itself, it would be interesting to note exactly how our requirements change over time.

Maybe a 3rd list comparing 1) and 2) over a period of time?

[Ad****]

Speaking from the other end of the age spectrum, I can say that not one of the various partners in my life have borne any resemblance to the type of guy who, physically, turns me on! I need to like what I see in a guy, and he needs to sexually willing, but otherwise it's down to 'chemistry'...

[Deleted Member]

Interesting.. well yes, I can't see any of the guys that turn me on actually wanting to be my bf but maybe that's just me selling myself short - but they do tend to be the types with attitudes (jocks, skaters, hipsters..). On the other hand I cant imagine having a bf who doesn't turn me on to some degree! How to find that one guy who bucks all the trends...?

[Deleted Member]

"How to find that one guy who bucks all the trends...?"

Umm...divine intervention?

[La****]

I guess up never give up and keep your haert open to it.

[Ge****]

I am not looking for the perfect man! That would suck to me! There is something about the work and time put into a relationship that makes it worth so much more. Making it through the rough times and sticking together and holding on tight! If it was perfect from day one and years later you hit a bump in the road, it could spiral into caos! Lets get the tough details out of the way in the begining and grow a strong relationship that natures both of us!

[Ad****]

Hear hear George!!

[La****]

Truer words have never been spoken George.

[elSac08]

Don't know, but I do know that he does exist, if only in my dreams. I also know that the perfect guy for me posseses inner beauty far beyond his external appearance.

[La****]

Hi Ellis
It's so good to hear you say that. If can pardon a cliche. You can't judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes the best beauty is in the chapters. Sometime you have to read beyond the first few pages to find a person inner beauty. Unfortunately it isn't easy with this fast pace world we live in. The attude I want it NOW!!