is it really hard to find perfect man? - Looking for LOVE!!!

[elSac08]

Well, I'm completely willing to take my time and get to know the guy - I know he's out there - but where? I'm not about to spend futile hours looking; if it's gonna happen, it will. In the meantime, I'm busy doing ME! LOL :=) Actually, I've recently begun to discover that my gay "decorating gene" exists, so I'm putting it to work redecorating my condo. What's up with everyone else?

[Deleted Member]

Nobody is perfect upon first meeting them or whatever.
The more you speak to a person and spend time with them, the more prefect for you they become.
However the term 'perfect' is a little daunting, I feel it puts a little too much pressure on us all to be the best.

Each person here is the 'perfect' person for not just one person out there... but many.
Finding those people may be difficult, but if life was so easy would there be any point in living it?

If you have too many ideals in your head of how you want your perfect partner to be, you're always going to be disappointed if someone doesn't meet those standards. You become picky.
Everyone has a right to be picky, but not -too- picky

[elSac08]

I'm right there with you, brother. I'm of the opinion, that it takes time to get to know someone; and often, when you get to know him, his attractiveness/beauty becomes apparent.

[Deleted Member]

Everyone has problems when it comes to dating, nevermind finding that special person.
It's certainly disheartening but eventually it'd be worth it.
I know i'm getting sick of time wasters.
Gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince haha

[Deleted Member]

Yes, you guys and I know the 'perfect guy' doesn't exist and you have to spend some time with someone and make it work, before you realize they're perfect for you... but I wish someone could have told that to the guy I met last winter!!! -fickle time-waster... couple months of daily chatting then ONE DAY together! Before I realized what happened he was gone.. Meanwhile I got depressed and am more jaded as a result.. Getting to really hate gay guys and I'm one of them - seem too picky and judgmental for a group that, out of everybody, are about the last that should ever be so - About how many of these should I expect to go thru before I find 'the one'?

[Deleted Member]

"Everyone has a right to be picky, but not-too-picky"

I'm not necessarily disagreeing, but this is to the point I was trying to make earlier - Where does one draw the line exactly?

Also a lot of folks (myself included at times) seem to come from a place of "It's good to know what you want in life but don't dare ask for too much". Surely this comes from being burnt inevitably a couple of times as well as just having "grown up" to one's preferences.

But I wonder, can't we have it all?

[Deleted Member]

I guess we can have it all in a bf if we've 'got it all' in ourselves, if you know what I mean - ie if you've got it goin' on.. you can get someone who has it goin' on.. I hate to be that cynical, but on the other hand I have seen (apparent) exceptions to that rule as well. I guess it's like anything else - the more work you put into your search and bettering yourself, the more you can get. But being introverted and lacking confidence I find it very difficult to get started, even putting myself out there.. never mind the fickle guys i have to sort thru. but I feel better seeing that I'm not the only one!
OK, now somebody tell us your 'list' if you have one - we'll never know what each other is looking for if we don't share.

[elSac08]

Eric, I totally agree w/you - that we should first have it all goin' in ourselves - once that happens, more is possible. I know that I don't "have it all," but I have a helluva lot goin' on - right now, I'm just happy to be me!!!

[Deleted Member]

Where do you draw the line?
That is completely down to you... I can't tell you what you accept and what you do not.
If I did... then I would only be telling you what i'd personally go for.
For me there are things which are a MUST
Things which I like
Things which are a bonus
and Things I really don't want.

The things which are a MUST and the things I really don't want rank high - and it's hard to change that.
The others... are just likes and bonus things. You learn to live without.
I'm sure and am certain there are things about me, people won't like which another person would love... It's all about preferences.

[St****]

everyone also needs to remember that even in the beginning stages of even a friendship there needs to be truth and honesty (same thing.. lol) and communication..

everyone has their type or what they look for.. some people make exceptions.. some do not make exceptions.. some like em big, some like em small, some just want sex, some might want to get married, some might want kids, some might want to travel, some might like talkers, some might like listeners, some like em black, white, asian, hispanic, european, australian, uk.. the list goes on and on and on and on and on.. lol

if you are picky or even over picky you should only expect the same.. you cannot choose to be picky but expect people to want you the way you are because like what has been said there will be people who like you and people who do not..

i think people are too worried about being in a relationship or having something to be with (guilty).. but again this topic even comes to societal views.. people do indeed need to be loved.. without it we wouldn't be able to survive.. but when it comes to that special someone i think people rush into things too fast.. people do not communicate.. people lie and cheat to hide their true feelings of not being ready for a commitment... i mean there are so many things that bring two people together but there are just as many reasons that can pull them apart..

really examine what you say.. you might think you have it all when in fact you actually have nothing to begin with.. it is one thing to know that you look good and you maintain looking good.. but you can look ugly as F*** by your personality alone..

[Deleted Member]

Yes we have our Musts, our Bonuses, and our Must Nots.. am I the only one brave enough to lay it out there? What are your Musts, for starters? You all know mine now!
And yes Stephen.. I'm sure you're right about all of that too... some of that is the only reasoning I could use to get thru this past winter.. but at the same time I'm not sure what I have - I think I know what I DON'T have goin' on, but I won't get into that - point being: sometimes we need someone else to tell us what our strong points are (bearing in mind that everyone values various traits differently) - and and I don't think my Flake really explained it to me honestly after he left, WHY he left, out of *** of hurting me no doubt - but I wonder what is worse, brutal honesty or never knowing what the dealbreaker was???

[Deleted Member]

You don't LOOK ugly because of your personality.
You come off as being ugly. Personality doesn't really show, it's more expressive and people sense or feel it.

[St****]

it was a metaphor..